Squirtle's Trainer
by A Grilled Fish
Summary: Stephen, an idiot, names a Squirtle 'Goldeen', and a Goldeen 'Bulbasaur.' Together they have "AN POKEMON ADVENTURE."
1. Chapter 1

**Squirtle's Trainer**

**Chapter 1** **– Carnage City**  
Squirtle rose from his bed and yawned.

'Another day, another dollar,' he thought. He walked over to his pond for his morning swim. He jumped in and began to backstroke. A Goldeen popped out of the water and said,

"HALLO, MY NAME ARE BEING GOLDEEN!"

"What the...my name is Squirtle. Glad to meet you," Squirtle exclaimed as he stopped swimming.

"SURE ARE HAVING NICE WEATHER ISN'T IT?"  
"Ummmmm... the weather is nice," Squirtle answered trying to understand Goldeen's grammar.

"LET'S GO ON A POKÉMON ADVENTURE SO WE CAN CONTINUE THIS HERE FANFIC WE ARE  
LIKELY TO FUN HAVE!"  
"Okay, but how will you survive out of the water?"  
"SAME WAY BEING GOLDEEN IN SUPER SMASH BROTHERS DOES! BY THE WAY COUSIN ARE  
BEING HIM YES!"

"What is Super Smash Brothers?" Squirtle asked. Squirtle didn't waste his time playing stupid Nintendo games.

"IT ARE BEING AN NINTENDO GAME!"  
"I'm sorry. I don't waste my time playing stupid Nintendo games." He got out of the water, went back to his hut, and put eyeglasses on. He took a book down from his bookshelf and went back outside to read by the pond side on a chair. Suddenly,  
"POKÉMON ADVENTURE!" It was the last thing that he heard before blasting off into the distance like Team Rocket. The next thing he heard was the splashing of water. The water was in a lake. Squirtle was in the water. A fishing rod was in the lake. Squirtle swam to surface to see who was fishing.

"ALL RIGHT! AN SQUIRT-AL! I'LL CAPTURE IT!" He spoke like the Goldeen. He threw a Pokeball at Squirtle. Squirtle knew that he could escape easily, but he stayed inside the Pokeball on purpose so he could have an adventure. Big mistake.

"ALL RIGHT! I CAUGHT AN SQUIRT-AL! NOW I GO FIRST BADGE EARN WITH MAY-CHOP AND SQUIRT-AL!" He let Squirtle out of the Pokeball.

"HI SQUIRT-AL, NICKNAME YOU GOLDEEN I DOES! MY NAME ARE BEING STEPHEN!" a Goldeen came hurtling down from the sky and hit Stephen on the head. Stephen fainted, and Goldeen jumped into one of Stephen's Pokeballs. When Stephen woke up he said,  
"WOWS! I CAUGHT ME AN GOLDEEN!" He let Goldeen out of its Pokeball.

"GOLDEEN, MY NAME ARE BEING STEPHEN! I NICKNAME YOU BULBASAUR!" He returned Squirtle, and then turned to return Goldeen. Goldeen refused to go in the Pokeball.  
"OH! YOU NO LIKE POKEBALL?"  
"YEAH!" Goldeen replied, even though Stephen could only hear, "Goldeen!"  
"THAT MUST MEAN YES! I BET SQUIRTLE WANT OUT ALSO!" He let Squirtle out.

"I really don't care," Squirtle answered reasonably and eloquently.

"THAT MUST MEAN YES! SO GLAD I IS I UNDERSTAND ME POKÉMON! CLOSE EACHOTHER WE ARE! I BET MAY-CHOP WANT OUT ALSO!" He let Machop out, and Machop ran away.

"OH WELL! YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM ALL!"

Squirtle, Stephen, and Goldeen arrived in Carnage City.

"THIS MUST BE CARNAGE CITY! WHAT'S THAT POKEDEX?" Stephen pulled his Pokedex out.  
Carnage City. Synonyms for carnage: bloodshed, slaughter, massacre, bloodbath, killing, and butchery.  
"THAT LOVELY! BET I GYM ARE NICE!"  
Why did I have to get stuck with him... The Pokedex groaned. Oh well. All comedy Fics must have a smart aleck Pokedex!

That night, while Stephen slept in a hotel, the Pokedex and Squirtle laid awake talking.

"Have you ever read 'The Ethics of War and the History of Asian Studies'?" The Pokedex asked Squirtle.

"Yeah! It was great! However, I prefer 'The postwar Japanese economy and cultural peace'. It is even better!"  
"I've read that!" They went on talking about likewise scientifical studies, and Squirtle knew that he had found a new friend.

"THINK POKE CENTER GOING BE I NOW YEAH!" Stephen said. Goldeen signified his agreement by flopping up and down on Stephen's shoulder. He went to the Pokémon Center, and Squirtle followed closely behind. When they walked in, Squirtle saw a Chansey rolling a Pokémon bleeding to death around on a stretcher frantically. It ran to Nurse Joy and gave her a chart.

"Chansey, Chansey!" Chansey said quickly, pointing to the chart.

"Oh, no! Another injury from the Fatality Gym! Send it to the emergency room right away!" Chansey ran, pushing the cart down the hallway. Nurse Joy turned to Stephen and saw his Pokémon.  
"The Fatality Gym leader, Era. D. Cator's Pokémon are very dangerous! I hope you're not here for a gym battle!"  
"OH YES I ARE!" answered Stephen with a smile. With that he ran off to the gym. He ran in and shrieked.

"WHERE ARE MY BADGE?" A spotlight shone on the trainer box on the opposite side of Stephen. A person stepped from the darkness into the light.

"Welcome, welcome. I'm sure you'll enjoy our battle. My Pokémon will kill you with their killer moves. Two on two Pokémon battle, no time limit. Prepare to die!"  
"BULBASAUR, GO!" Stephen yelled.

"If you send out Bulbasaur, I may have the joy of watching its bulb burn to ashes with any fire Pokémon! Go level one Charmander, and Ember it so I may see it BURN! BURN! BURRRRRN! BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Charmander appeared in the battle ring. Stephen picked up Goldeen and threw it at Charmander.

"I thought you were sending out Bulbasaur," the gym leader cried.

"DID ME YES, WHAT TALKING ABOUT YOU?" answered Stephen. The Charmander pushed Goldeen off of itself. A bug flew into Goldeen's mouth, and it inadvertently used water gun to spit it out. Goldeen's spit extinguished Charmander's tail flame.

"BUG THAT TAKE YOU!" Goldeen yelled.

"My Charmander may have been defeated, but Kingler shall Guillotine your Pokémon to bits! Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!" Era threw a Pokeball revealing Kingler.

"OH WOWS, A KINGLER! WANT OF THOSE ONE DO I! BULBASAUR TACKLE!" Goldeen hopped over to Kingler slowly. It stupidly hopped under Kingler's claws.

"Guillotine, my dear." Era said softly with an evil chuckle. Kingler slammed its pincer down onto Goldeen, causing blood to pour out everywhere. Goldeen had fainted. A Chansey rushed in, and took Goldeen away on a cart.

"GOLDEEN I IS CHOOSE YOU!!" Stephen threw Squirtle onto Kingler, knocking Kingler out.  
"YAY I EARN MY FIRST BADGE! HUH?" Era wasn't paying attention, because he had been laughing ever since Goldeen had been impaled.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-"

AGrilledFish has banned Era. D. Cator from the room (Too much laughing!)

Because Era was banned, Stephen simply walked up to Era's trainer box and took a badge. Stephen ran out onto his path to the next city, completely forgetting about the impaled Goldeen which was named Bulbasaur.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 Goldeen**

You left Goldeen back there! Hello, you left Goldeen! The Pokedex's attempt to tell Stephen were futile.

"YOU MEAN TURN LEFT AT THAT THERE GOLDEEN STREET, POKEDEX?"  
No.  
"OKAY, SO TURN LEFT GOLDEEN STREET I DO?"  
Right.  
"I IS RIGHT?"  
No! I mean turn right!  
"BUT SAID YOU..."  
Never mind what I said, Goldeen is back in Carnage City!  
"NO IT ARE NOT! GOLDEEN STREET RIGHT HERE AT ROUTE 44! SMART ALECK POKEDEX!"

Stephen turned the Pokedex off. Later that night, they set up camp. While everyone else was sleeping, Squirtle and the Pokedex agreed that they had to stay together in order to keep Goldeen and Stephen out of trouble. So, Squirtle ran back to Carnage City and fetched Goldeen, who had been healed by Nurse Joy and was sleeping.

The next morning, we see our hero, (Squirtle, I mean Goldeen the Squirtle,) get up and yawn. He realizes he is not with his partners, and that he is in a cage with a primitive lock. He unlocks it and sees a Pidgey and a Rattata in a cage. He sees a Bulbasaur out the window, which jumps off of the helicopter. Helicopter! Squirtle realizes that he is in a helicopter being driven by Team Rocket. Out of curiosity, Squirtle decides to jump off. However, beforehand, he grabs Pidgey and Rattata's cage. He tumbles down to a trampoline. Quickly, he throws out three Dittos into the helicopter, and tells them to transform into Pidgey, Rattata, and a cage. Squirtle always had extra Dittos in his shell. He calculated the proper angles so that he would land on the trampoline shortly after Bulbasaur, who would be knocked out when he landed and would get a sore bulb.

**From the documents of Squirtle:**

I have collected for you an excerpt from the script of Bulbasaur's adventure. We hope that this first-person narrative will help cajole you into the feelings of annoyance held by my secretary Bulbasaur. The excerpt begins from his point of view after he wakes up from his unfortunate fall.

"RING RING RING! RING RING RING! PHONE CALL! PHONE CALL! RING RING RING! RING RING RIN.......BAM! Stupid phone...." I woke up and saw the perturbed face of Nurse Joy next to the phone, holding a large hammer.

"pant pant Stupid... pant phone... Oh my! Bulbasaur is up!" She ran over to my side, dropping the hammer on her toe. "OWWWWW! My, my how clumsy am I! Heh hee! That rhymes!" I rolled my eyes. What could make this Nurse Joy worse?  
"It's a good thing I went to jump on my trampoline after you landed! Huh, Bulbasaur!" I wondered how many bones she had broken on the trampoline.

"Well anyway if you have am....amneee....amneshhh.... what's that thingy called when you don't remember? I forget." She scratched her head.

"Bulba! Saur!" I answered, which meant, "Are you trying to be ironic?"  
"If you have what's it called, and don't remember, you landed safely on my trampoline and only have a very sore bulb."  
"Saur! Bulb!" I answered.

"Ooooh! I didn't know that you could talk too!" That bad joke was enough. I chose this moment to use my vines to push her out the door, which I locked. I decided to go to Team Rocket's headquarters to find my friends, Pidgey and Rattata. I razor leafed a window open and fell four stories onto Nurse Joy's trampoline.

Squirtle hopped off of the trampoline, for he heard that he was in Clamsy city, commonly known as Clumsy city by those that visited it. He knew that the horrid Nurse Joy would soon be there, and he hastily made his escape. Later, Squirtle arrived back at camp where Stephen was still sleeping, thanks to the Pokedex. The Pokedex explained to Squirtle how Team Rocket had captured Squirtle in the middle of the night, and how the Pokedex had drugged Stephen, giving Squirtle time to escape. Squirtle then realized that Pidgey and Rattata had followed him out of Clamsy City, and even made there selves at home in Stephen's Pokeballs. He could tell this by the way that they shined. He informed the Pokedex of this phenomenon.

"I got that Pokeball shining trick from The Study of Pokeballs: Throughout the History of Pokeballs. Ever read it?"  
"Yes, but it is nothing compared to How Pokeballs Move, and the Ethical Epic of the Modern Constitutionalists of Japanese Economy'!"

"Hey, I've read that! It reminds me of Business Diagrams of the Political and Economical Review of the Cultivator Guild Including the all new Novel of Ethics and the Division of Alacrity'!"

The next morning, Squirtle woke up. He could see that everyone else was sleeping, including the Pokedex. He turned the Pokedex on. Squirtle held the Pokedex up to Pidgey and Rattata's Pokeballs. Squirtle was astonished at their STATUS:

OT Squirtle  
ID 35478

Squirtle decided to keep Pidgey and Rattata a secret from Stephen, in order to prevent any misunderstandings. Squirtle told one of his Dittos to transform into a primitive Pokedex, and he kept this Pokedex with him in case he was separated from Stephen's. He heard Stephen groan and yawn, so he quickly pretended to be asleep. He heard the zipping of a tent flap, then footsteps.

"AH WHAT IS IT NICE MORNING WILLN'T AGREE GOLDEEN?"

"YEAH!" Bulbasaur the Goldeen answered.

"WASN'T TALKING TO YOU NOPE! TALKING TO GOLDEEN ME WAS NOT BULBASAUR!" This was Squirtle's cue. He pretended to wake up and he answered,

"I certainly think that it is a nice morning."  
"YOU SAY IT ARE NOT NICE MORNING? AWW, THAT AM TOO BAD GOLDEEN! LET WE GO GYM NEXT!" After many hours of walking, they arrived in Gory Cobalt city. They went to the gym, and Stephen began to stare at it in awe. On a sign hanging from it read:

**Sir Ooleon Gym  
Built in honor of former Gym Leader Sir Ooleon.  
Current Gym Leader: Sir Ooleon's daughter, Aloof  
The cold gym leader  
**  
There was a huge water symbol under the words.

"THEY IS MUST HAS BEEN BEING TRICK US BY HAVE THAT THERE WATER SYMBOL! THEY MUST USING GROUND TYPE TO FOOL ELECTRIC USERS! WELL NOT WORK ME SMART! GROUND TYPES AM WEAK TO LIGHTNING POKEMAN I KNOWS SO I GET AN LIGHTNING POKEMAN!" Stephen ran off into the woods to catch a  
Pikachu. Squirtle knew that there were no Pikachus in the woods, so to make Stephen happy he commanded one of his numerous Dittos to transform into Pikachu and jump into one of Stephen's Pokeballs.  
"YAY I CAUGHT AN PIKACHU!" Stephen began to perform the happy dance. "GO GYM ME NOW!" He tried to run off to the gym, but just as he began to step forward, he fell into a hole. He looked up and saw...


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 Team Rocket**

Prepare for badness!  
And a bit of sadness!  
Our motto tells how Cyndaquil shall take aim!  
Then fire out a red hot flame!  
He will burn your Pokémon causing much pain!  
You will try to heal it, but it will be in vain!  
Jacqueline!  
Jack!  
Team Rocket hurt Pokémon, and they steal them too!  
We don't care if you prosecute or sue!  
Cyndaquil!

Squirtle disposed of Team Rocket's fiery threat quickly by blasting water at Cyndaquil.

"OH WOWS! YOU AM MUST BEING FABLED BEAM SOCKET!" Stephen exclaimed joyously, and then he promptly  
fell asleep in the hole he had fallen into. Stephen was narcoleptic. Suddenly, a girl holding a male Nidoran ran up.

"You return my female Nidoran right now!" she shouted at Jack. Squirtle water gunned Jack to the ground, revealing four Pokeballs. Squirtle knew from the light reflecting off of them that Ditto, Pidgey, Rattata and Nidoran were inside them. He picked up the one with Nidoran inside and returned it to the girl.

"Oh, thank you! Now I have both my Nidorans!"  
"Squirtle!" Squirtle replied. Squirtle pulled out a cell phone and dialed 911. Officer Jenny came and arrested Team Rocket. Stephen, however, was still asleep in the hole. Squirtle sighed.

"PSY-AYE-AYE!" Psyduck appeared abruptly. Just as suddenly, an angry Misty appeared with a mallet, and began to threateningly chase after Psyduck. Both disappeared, leaving a cloud of smoke behind. Squirtle, unfazed, transformed one of his numerous Dittos into an Abra, and teleported himself, his items, and Stephen to the local Pokémon Center. They ended their day there, Stephen still sleeping.

Stephen felt a kick in his side. Nurse Joy was trying to get him out of her way. He was lying in the middle of a hallway, blocking her path. Goldeen was sleeping above him on a chandelier. Suddenly, Stephen stood up and said.

"OH HELLOS NURSE OF JOY!"

"GET OUT OF MY WAY! I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET YOU OUT OF THE WAY FOR FIVE HOURS!" Nurse Joy's face started on fire because she was so angry. She used Flamethrower on Stephen, which caused him to move out of her way. This woke Squirtle up, and he walked over to the hallway to see what the noise was about. He saw Stephen running around on fire, while Nurse Joy walked calmly down the hallway.  
"OH WOWS! I REALLY ON FIRE! ARE NOT THIS FUN BULBASAUR?" The hot chandelier had set Goldeen on fire too, and it hopped off. Blazing, Goldeen began flopping around on the ground.

"SURE FUN IT AM!" Goldeen agreed. The Pokedex had hopped out of Stephen's pocket before it could catch on fire. Squirtle reluctantly Hydro-Pumped them both, making Stephen was extremely mad. "BAD GOLDEEN! RUIN FUN IT AM DOING! RETURN TO POKEBALL YOU MUST BE!" Squirtle quickly switched Stephen's Pokedex with his for company, and he placed a hidden camera on Stephen. Inside his Pokeball, he used Dittos to turn it into a cozy hut like his home. He monitored Stephen's actions on a Ditto television while he conversed with the Pokedex. Stephen walked towards the gym doors of the Sir Ooleon gym. He began to push very hard on the doors that read: PULL. When the door didn't budge he assumed it was stuck.

"BULBASAUR USE A AY-TACK TO OPEN STUCK DOOR! ROTTER PUN!" Goldeen water gunned the doors, but they didn't budge. Squirtle sighed. Psyduck appeared once again.

"Psy-AYE-AYEEE!" What then happened to Psyduck and his lame joke is of no importance. Squirtle sighed also, popped out of his Pokeball, and pulled opened the door.

"OH WOWS! THANK STRONG SQUIRT-AL!" They walked in, and saw a sign that read:

**Gym leader to left  
Restaurant ahead  
Staff Only to right  
**

"I THUNK I IS GOING LEFT! RIGHT?"  
Right, answered the Pokedex, which had also popped out of the Pokeball.

"OH! I IS GOING RIGHT?"  
No! Left!  
"THERE AM NOT NO GYM LEADER BADGES NO LEFT? THAT TOO BAD. OH WELL, I GO BATTLE ANYWAY!" The Pokedex groaned as Stephen walked through the staff only doors. Squirtle ran the right way. That is, the left way, which was correct. Stephen ran into the gym leader doors, and he saw a cement field with some rocks ahead. A spotlight turned on, revealing Aloof on the opposite side of the ring. Squirtle knew what he had to do.

Meanwhile, inside the Staff only storage room, Stephen had found a box that had the words 'gym badges' on it. He spent the next few hours trying to open it, because it only opened with a key. Squirtle spent the next few hours battling.

"So, you wish to challenge me, the great gym leader Aloof?" The female gym leader asked. Squirtle had on a Stephen suit and a poke-language translator, both thanks to Dittos.

"Yes," he answered.  
"I am the cold gym leader. My ice Pokémon along with others shall freeze your Pokémon solid! Four Pokémon, no time limit. Shall we begin?"  
"Yes."  
"Cloyster, I choose you!"  
"Cloy-oy-oy-oy-oy-oyster!" A Cloyster appeared in the arena.

"Pidgey, go!" Squirtle yelled. Pidgey had been training with Squirtle, and was now at very high level. However, Squirtle kept it from evolving to fool battlers.  
"Cloyster, tackle it!"  
"Pidgey, fly to the wall and dodge it!" Pidgey shot up into the air, up against the cement wall. Cloyster jumped up towards it, but Pidgey flew out of the way at the last minute. Cloyster hit the wall, and fell down onto the ground, taking damage.  
"Cloyster, try an ice beam!" Aloof sounded a tad worried as she ordered the attack.  
"Pidgey do our ice roof combo!" Pidgey flew up to the roof, and Cloyster shot an ice beam at it. Pidgey flew out of the way, and the ice beam created a hole in the ceiling. Pidgey flew up through it, and the rest of the ice beam covered  
the hole with ice. Pidgey was now outside of the building, but its acute hearing allowed it to hear Squirtle, who commanded,  
"Wing attack!"

"Hydro Pump!" Although Pidgey's wing attack could go through the thick ice, all attacks that Cloyster used bounced off. After  
many powerful wing attacks, Cloyster's shell broke.  
"Now, Pidgey!" Pidgey flew very high, then zoomed down through the strong ice, breaking the ice with its strong beak. The helpless Cloyster stared at Pidgey as it zoomed like a missile down to the Cloyster's soft innards. Pidgey's beak hit home, and Cloyster was knocked out. Aloof appeared unfazed.

"You are good, but not good enough for my Jynx! Go!" Jynx appeared in the  
cement arena.

"Pidgey, come back! Rattata, go!" This Rattata had been training with Squirtle  
also, and it was also at a very high level.  
"Focus Energy, Rattata!" Aloof laughed at the pitiful looking Rattata using Focus Energy.  
"Jynx, just use Physic! It may not be very effective, but I'm sure that we have a high level advantage!" The quick Rattata finished Focus Energy and used Hyper Fang on Jynx before she could use Psychic. Jynx flinched.

"Super fang!" commanded Squirtle. Rattata used Super Fang on Jynx, causing it to flinch again.  
"Hyper Beam!" Squirtle exclaimed triumphantly, while Aloof watched helplessly. Rattata shot a deadly hyper beam at poor Jynx.

"Use quick attack, when you finish recharging!"  
"Jynx, blizzard, and hurry!" Jynx stood up, and ice particles began to fill the air. The ice flew at Rattata, and he took some damage. However, it used quick attack, knocking Jynx out.  
"Ditto, go!" Squirtle said after he returned Rattata.

"Delibird, go, and use present!"  
"Deli, deli, bird!" Delibird handed a present to Ditto.  
"Ditto, ditto!" Ditto smiled as he gratefully took the present.  
"Transform into the present!" Squirtle ordered. Ditto morphed into the present, and both the present and Ditto exploded at once. Ditto reappeared, unharmed, and transformed back into its original form.  
"Ice Beam!" Ordered Aloof.  
"Ditto, dodge it!" Ditto quickly slid out of the way, and the ice beam hit a  
rock. The rock turned to ice.

"Transform into ice!" Ditto did, and slid under Delibird's feet. Delibird slipped on the ice and fell down. It looked around for Ditto, and couldn't find it. It was confused, so it began to fire Hyper Beams everywhere. It eventually knocked itself out, as some of the hyper beams hit itself. On the other hand, one hit Ditto, and it fainted. It was a double knockout.  
"Blastoise, go!" Aloof yelled.  
"Bulbasaur go!" The Bulbasaur that Nurse Joy found had joined with Squirtle. Bulbasaur was at a high enough  
level to evolve, but the animators wouldn't let it evolve because they thought that its evolved versions were to ugly to keep in the show.

"Blastoise, use rain dance!"

"Bulbasaur erase it with your sunny day!" It started raining, and Bulbasaur's bulb absorbed the rain, just like any normal plant would. The rain stopped, and the sun began to shine brightly.

"Solar Beam!" Bulbasaur mercilessly used Solar Beam three times in a row, knocking Gyarados out.

"Congratulations, you have won the cold badge!" Squirtle rejoiced. Aloof tossed the badge to him, and he caught it. The ground began to rumble, for it had been a few hours, and as I promised, Stephen was finished trying to open the box. Aloof's father came up from the ground. Stephen had failed in opening the box, but he had, for some strange reason, resurrected Sir Ooleon. Aloof, wanting to become a stronger trainer, went traveling with Stephen, and gave the gym back to her father. Stephen did not understand why this girl was suddenly following him, or why he had a badge, so Squirtle used a Memory transfer Machine to erase Stephen's memory of resurrecting Sir Ooleon. He replaced these memories with his gym battle. Squirtle, Aloof, Goldeen, the Pokedex, and Stephen continued their journey to become Pokémon Masters! Whatever that is.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 Carnage City Jail**

Prepare for badness!  
And a little sadness!  
To eject all Pokémon with pain and torture!  
With our Cyndaquil here, we have a great scorcher!  
To promote this team of lies and hate!  
Either torture or death will be your fate!  
Jacqueline!  
Jack!  
Team Rocket hurts Pokémon and steals them too!  
We don't care if you prosecute or sue!  
Cyndaquil!

Jack sighed. Saying the motto wasn't any fun in jail.

'The police have taken my Cyndaquil away, and now I have to be one!' he thought. 'It's just not fair!' He ran around on all fours saying,

"Cynda, cynda, cynda!"  
"Cyndaquil, use your Fire Blast to break this jail wall!" yelled Jacqueline.  
"Cynda?" Jack said. 'I can't use fire blast,' he thought. 'that's impossible!'  
"Cyndaquil, I...SAID.... USE.....FIRE BLAST!!" Jacqueline was enraged.  
Jack, not wanting to feel her fury, ran around crazily spewing fire everywhere. The wall broke, and they ran off. Jacqueline knew that Jack would just have to be a Cyndaquil if they wanted to get any work done. So, she returned Jack to a Pokeball. When she stole back Jack's Cyndaquil, she decided that she should still keep Jack in the Pokeball, so he wouldn't do anything annoying. She was walking along to their headquarters when a Pidgey appeared.

"Get that horrid villain!" Squirtle said, who was training his Pidgey. Pidgey misunderstood, and threw a Pokeball at Jacqueline. She was captured. Now, Stephen owned a Squirtle named Goldeen that owned a Pidgey, which had just captured Jacqueline, who owned James, who owned Cyndaquil. Squirtle returned Pidgey and hid up in a tree to see what Aloof and Stephen were doing back at camp.

"So can I see your Bulbasaur?" asked Aloof, remembering Bulbasaur's great Solar Beam attack.  
"SURE YOU AM!" Stephen picked up Bulbasaur the Goldeen.

"But that's a Goldeen!" Aloof was confused.

"ME KNOW! BUT IT AM BULBASAUR!"  
"Huh?"  
"HUH AM AN DUNSPARCE! HERE IT AM!" Stephen let out his newest Pokémon: Huh the level one Dunsparce. Earlier, while Stephen was catching the Dunsparce with his Master Ball, Squirtle was catching an Abra. Squirtle now told Abra to telepath all information of Stephen to Aloof. Aloof finally understood why Stephen was acting so stupid.

"WATCH DUNSPARCE AY-TACKS!"

"Um....Okay."

"DUNSPARCE USE ALL YOU AY-TACKS!" The Dunsparce tried to flop around to no avail, for it had no arms or legs.  
"THAT AM SPLASH!" Dunsparce did nothing.

"THAT ARE FORESIGHT! IT IS HIT IN A FEW PARAGRAPHS!"

'If you are still alive in a few paragraphs,' thought Squirtle.  
"LET GET GONE ON POKÉMON ADVENTURE YES?"  
"POKÉMON ADVENTURE!" Bulbasaur the Goldeen answered.

Later that night, when all were asleep, Jack popped out of his Pokeball holding Cyndaquil. He found himself in a Pokeball with a sleeping Jacqueline. He popped out one more level, and found himself in a Pokeball with a Pidgey. He popped out again, and found himself in a nice hut, which was actually a Pokeball containing a sleeping Squirtle. He popped out one final time, and ran away. However, Jacqueline secretly followed close behind him.

"Bwahahaha!" James exclaimed. "I have Cyndaquil and Rattata! Even though I no longer own Pidgey, they're enough to go steal more Pokémon to sell, and I can become rich! I WILL FINALLY RULE THE WORLD!" He yelled, breaking into evil laughter. However, Jacqueline caught up with him.  
"You nitwit, you forgot me! WE will rule the world!"

"Darn it! You found me!" Jack cried. Jacqueline didn't notice Jack's sorrow, and said,

"That Goldeen Stephen has is very rare and smart. We must steal it." At the prospect of money, Jack forgot his sorrow, and agreed.

"Yes, we must. Bwahahahahaha!"

Our heroes were walking along triumphantly when Jack and Jacqueline appeared. They grabbed Stephen's Goldeen.  
"HEY YOU BULBASAUR GIVE RIGHT NOW!" said Stephen. Aloof sent out Delibird, and it used Hydro Pump to send Team Rocket flying away before they could steal anything else. Fortunately, Goldeen blasted off with them.  
"THEY ARE STILL HAVING BULBASAUR! NOW HE AM BEING IN THE STATE OF GONE! IT ALL YOUR FAULT!" Stephen ran off crying. However, Aloof, Squirtle, and the Pokedex continued their 'Pokémon adventure', knowing that Stephen would come back sooner or later. Squirtle put on his Stephen suit and translator.

Soon they arrived in Inferno City. Squirtle walked into the Conflagration Gym to battle the gym leader, Damp. Squirtle saw that the battle arena was placed over lava. On the other side of the gym stood Damp the gym leader.  
"Welcome to the Conflagration gym. Do you wish to battle?"  
"Affirmative," answered Squirtle, the surrogate Stephen.  
"You will be battling for the blaze badge. Four Pokémon each no time limit. Any questions?"  
"No."  
"Then the battle shall begin. Tyrannitar, go," The gym leader said calmly.  
"Pidgey, I choose you!" Squirtle threw a Pokeball.   
"Tyrannitar, use Nail Flick on this mere Pidgey," ordered Damp. Tyrannitar laughed at the Pidgey then tried to flick it. Pidgey easily dodged it.

"Pidgey, cover the lava with an ice beam!"  
"JYOOOO!!!" Pidgey flapped its wings, and ice covered the field. Tyrannitar slipped on the ice, and fell down over ice-covered lava. Pidgey used a volley of Wing Attacks, and every one hit Tyrannitar, who couldn't stand back up on  
the ice. Pidgey broke the ice that Tyrannitar was laying on with a wing attack, and the weakened Tyrannitar sank helplessly into the lava.  
"Tyrannitar, return! Your Pidgey is very powerful. But it is not powerful enough for my next Pokémon, which is...

Stephen: WHO'S THAT POKEMAN? Obvious silhouette of Magmar appears  
After a fifteen-minute commercial break, Magmar appears in the silhouette

Stephen: IT AM BE THE MAGMAR!

"Magmar, go," said Damp nonchalantly. "You know what to do, Magmar."  
"You know what to do Pidgey," Squirtle mirrored, and Pidgey understood. Magmar used Flamethrower, quickly followed by a Hyper Beam, which pushed the Flamethrower even faster. Inches away from Pidgey, the Hyper-flamethrower-beam turned  
around and hit Magmar. Pidgey had used Mirror Move! While Magmar was still recharging, Pidgey flew up and back down for a Sky Attack for the knockout! Pidgey began the happy dance.  
"Charizard, go, and use Fire Blast," Said Damp. Charizard's Fire Blast knocked Pidgey out, because this intelligent bird Pokémon wasn't paying any attention while doing the happy dance.  
"Pokeball, go!" Squirtle yelled, and his Pokeball revealed a Rattata.  
"Rattata, use your Focus Energy quickly!"  
"Flamethrower, Charizard," Damp said.  
"Rattata, mimic Charizard's flying abilities!" Rattata finished Focus energy, and it jumped out of the way of Charizard's Flamethrower. Rattata began to fly up magically into the air. Traveling with Squirtle was helping Aloof learn much more about avant-garde battling techniques. A crowd and a news reporter had appeared on the battle scene.  
"Hyper Fang!"  
"Flamethrower." Rattata flew up to Charizard and bit it. It bit so hard that Charizard's flamethrower missed, and fired at the ground. The ice covering the ground went up in flames.

"Super Fang!" Rattata bit on Charizard's wing, and the fire dragon fell onto the fiery ground, unable to fly.  
"Amazing!" said the news reporter. "What looked like Charizard's advantage of being able to cause the ground to go up in flames to burn Rattata no matter where it ran quickly changed when Rattata used mimic!" Charizard lay on the ground, its wing broken. The absurdity of this whole scene did not strike anyone as odd.  
"Water Gun, Rattata!" Rattata shot a stream of water at Charizard's flame tail, causing it to almost burn out. The hurt Charizard used one final Hyper Beam, and fainted. The Hyper Beam hit Rattata, and the rat Pokémon also fell to the flames and fainted. Squirtle had two Pokémon left, as opposed to Damp's one. The flames had melted the ice, and the stadium was covered with water.  
"Rapidash, go!" The fire horse ran out of its Pokeball only to slip and slip on the wet ground. Squirtle sent out Ditto.  
"Ditto, transform into the water!" In the spirit of the wicked witch of the west, Ditto melted into the water. Rapidash ran around looking for Ditto, confused. It slipped on the water again, but this time it could not stand back up.  
"Ditto, good job, I'm replacing you with Abra!" Abra read Squirtle's mind for Squirtle's plan. It teleported high above Rapidash, which was busy trying to get up off of the slippery ground, used Physic to keep Rapidash in one place while it body slammed it. Rapidash was paralyzed, and Abra finished it off with one final Physic. Squirtle had won! The news reporters went crazy, and slapped themselves with carrots. Just kidding! They gathered around Squirtle asking him questions. Squirtle, dressed as Stephen, water gunned them away; confusing them beyond normality. Damp gave Squirtle the badge, and shook his hand. Everyone cheered. Suddenly, Stephen ran in, and Squirtle quickly took off his Stephen suit. Squirtle gave the badge to Stephen and,

"YAY I EARN ME SECOND BADGE!" Damp was very confused, and he decided that it was finally time to turn on the air conditioning. After they came out of the hot gym, they could see in the bright sunlight that there was a Goldeen on Stephen's shoulder.

"AND IT ALL THANK YOU BULBASAUR ME GET THAT HERE BADGE!"  
"Um...Stephen? How did you get back 'Bulbasaur'?" asked Aloof.  
"BOUGHT ONLINE EBAY SOMEONE TEAM ROCKET NAMED! IT WERE CHEAP! ONLY 936,739,492  
DOLLARS! NOT NEARLY, MUCH AM BULBASAUR ARE REALLY WORTH! BULBASAUR BEST! BY THE  
WAY CHARGE I ALL MONEY TO CREDIT CARD DAD MINE OWN! PAY FOR IT HE DOES WHEN TELL  
HIM I BULBASAUR SUCH GREAT POKEMAN!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 Human-Being Wannabees**

A Human Being Wannabee is a thing. A thing that is not human. It wishes greatly to be a human, but it cannot. Take the ten thousand ton weight for example. It wants to be human, but it is simply too weird. Some Human-Being Wannabees look like humans, but do not be fooled, they are not. Yet you should not worry, as Stephen and Goldeen are not Human Being Wannabees. They are just extremely idiotic. Human Being Wannabees can't die completely. They do, but they are sent back to Earth because they aren't human.

Stephen walked happily along the path to the next city, Bulbasaur the Goldeen on his shoulder, Squirtle and Aloof close behind. All of a sudden, a wild Tyrannitar appeared!  
Hurry and catch it! It only has one HP left from a previous battle, and let me check the level...IT'S LEVEL 100 FOR HEAVENS SAKE! CAPTURE IT BEFORE IT GETS AWAY! screamed the Pokedex.  
"IT ARE AN MEAN DARK POKÉMON! I NO LIKE MEAN! I ONLY HAVE ULTRA BALLS ANYWAY!" So, they continued on their way. A Magikarp flopped into their path. Stephen's eyes grew as wide as dinner plates.  
"OH WOWS RAREST POKEMAN IN WORLD I CATCHES IT!"  
"Figures," shrugged Aloof. However, the Pokedex identified the Magikarp as level 74. This made them wonder if Stephen was finally onto something.  
"BULBASAUR GO!" Stephen picked up Goldeen and threw it at the Magikarp. Magikarp flopped out of the way.  
"HORN ATTACK!" Stephen yelled. Magikarp used Splash, and Goldeen ran away in fear of the frightening Splash.  
My data shows Magikarp knows only three moves: Splash, Splash, and Splash. The Pokedex explained.  
"IT OK BULBASAUR I KNOW YOU WAS SCARED!" Stephen patted Goldeen on the back.  
"DUNSPARCE AM GO! USE YOU SPLASH!" Dunsparce tried to flop around, but to no  
avail. The Magikarp used Splash, knocking out Dunsparce. It received 1 exp. Point from this victory, which was just enough for it to grow a level. It evolved, and learned Hydro Pump, Dragon Rage, Hyper Beam, and Bubblebeam.

"GOLDEEN AM GOING!" yelled Stephen, who was idiotically not afraid of the gigantic Gyarados. Squirtle put on a pair of Squirtle Squad Sunglasses and said,

"Squirtle." Squirtle jumped onto the back of Gyarados, while Gyarados was busy firing Dragon rage. It fired attacks around, looking for Squirtle, but Squirtle held on. Gyarados gyrated around, and fired a Hyper Beam at Squirtle. Squirtle jumped off  
of Gyarados' back, and the Dragon Pokémon's Hyper Beam hit its own back. Squirtle then used Hydro Pump by jumping into the air, pulling itself into its shell, and spinning around quickly while firing water out of its shell. Squirtle hit Gyarados, who fell down to the ground, almost knocked out. Stephen threw a Pokeball, but another Pokeball hit it out of the way and sucked Gyarados in. Stephen whirled around to see who had stolen his Gyarados. It was his rival, Obtuse! Obtuse picked up Gyarados' Pokeball and ran away laughing. Stephen continued walking, happy as can be, because his memory wasn't very accurate. Squirtle, on the other hand, was very angry at Obtuse for taking advantage of his hard work. He ran after Obtuse, and caught him inside a Pokeball. With his Ditto cell phone he called Officer Jenny. With Squirtle's digital video editing techniques, he was able to prove that Obtuse had killed Mother Teresa. Obtuse was sentenced to 190 hours of community service a week, and Squirtle got back Gyarados. It was Aloof's birthday, so Squirtle gave it to her as a present.

When they arrived in Outlandish City, Stephen rushed straight to the Vituperation Gym.  
"THIRD BADGE ME EARN! NOWS!"

Actually, Stephen, this would be your fourth badge...Stephen ignored the Pokedex, and stormed towards the door, looking for a badge. Unfortunately, the door was closed. BAMMM! He smashed into the door like a bird trying to fly through a window. He slid down the door, unconscious. Someone walked out of the gym. When that person opened the door, it smashed Stephen against the building, causing part of the building to crumble and fall on top of Stephen.  
"Did I hear someone challenge me to a badge?" asked the person. Idea, the gym leader, was the one that had walked out. Stephen groaned underneath the cement blocks, behind the door, and smashed against the building. "Oh I see! You're hiding  
behind the door, ay? Well I don't blame you for being afraid of the great Idea. However, you may call me by my last name, Ot," said Idea Ot, seeing Stephen's face under the cement blocks. Stephen stood up suddenly, even though five-tons of cement was on top of him. Stephen was dangerous when he was angry.  
"ERRR! ME NO SCARE! ME WANT BATTLE NOWS! LET BATTLE I YOU MR. IDEA OT!"  
"What did you call me, you puny challenger?" The gym leader demanded.  
"Idea Ot!"  
"Why you little... Nobody calls me, the great Idea, an idiot! You shall feel my full wrath, now that you have insulted me! To the gym, for a four on four Pokémon battle, with no time limit!" They each ran to the different sides of the gym. Aloof took a seat in the nearby stands.   
"BULBASAUR IS GO!" Stephen said.  
"Ha! I know that you nicknamed a water Pokémon Bulbasaur so I would send out a fire Pokémon to burn your grass Pokémon so your water Pokémon could have a type advantage! But I am too smart for you! To electrocute your water Pokémon I shall  
send out Electabuzz!" He let Electabuzz out of a Pokeball. Squirtle's Bulbasaur ran into the gym and onto the battlefield on Abra's command.  
"Bulbasaur!" It said.  
"OH WOWS A BALBASAUR I CATCHES IT!"  
"A change of plans, ay? You could tell by that I was smart, so you knew that I thought you had nicknamed a water Pokémon Bulbasaur and would have a type advantage to a fire Pokémon I would send out, but I would send out an electric type because I was smart, so you used a real Bulbasaur which is good against Electric types! You used reverse-reverse psychology, which is pretty good for someone stupid like y... Hey!" Stephen was fast asleep. So, Abra read Squirtle's mind as of what attacks to tell Bulbasaur to do. "Electabuzz, use your Thunder Punch!" Bulbasaur used vine whip to tie up Electabuzz's fists, and Electabuzz was unable to punch. "Try Thunder!" The roof of the gym opened up, and the sky filled with dark clouds. Bulbasaur used Sunny Day, and the clouds disappeared causing Thunder to fail. The sky grew bright and sunny. Bulbasaur knocked out Electabuzz with two Solar Beams.  
"Hmm. Your Bulbasaur is strong. I must think of what to do." He closed his eyes in thought. Squirtle put his Stephen suit on quickly and hid Stephen and Goldeen in another room.  
"Ninetails, go! Flamethrower!" Damp said after he opened his eyes. Ninetails popped out and fired a Flamethrower at Bulbasaur.  
"Agility!" Yelled Squirtle from his Ditto Stephen suit. Squirtle sighed silently. Once again, he had to be a surrogate Stephen. Bulbasaur tried to jump out of the way of the flamethrower, but it was too tired from the solar beams. It was too slow, and the Flamethrower hit part of Bulbasaur's bulb.

"BULBA! BULBA!" Bulbasaur ran around on fire. A Chansey ran in and took Bulbasaur to the clinic to be healed.  
"Pidgeot, go!" Squirtle held up a Pokeball. The bird Pokémon flew out of its Pokeball, evolved. Ninetails fired a Flamethrower at where Pidgeot was about to fly. Pidgeot used mirror move on it, and the flamethrower shot back at Ninetails.

"Pidjyoooo!" It yelled, as the Flamethrower reversed direction and hit Ninetails. It did more damage because of the Sunny Day. Pidgeot flew into the sky at Mach 2, and it disappeared out of sight. Ninetails looked around for  
where it had Human Being Wannabee gone. Human Being Wannabee A question mark Human Being Wannabee appeared over Human Being Wannabee its head Human Being Wannabee.  
"It's above you!" Shouted Ide a, but i t Human Being Wannabee was too lat e. Imakuni's Arcanine kicked his stupid infrared Human Being Wannabee mouse for Human Being Wannabeegoing crazy and Human Being Wannabee messing up theHuman Being Wannabee chapter. Imakuni's Arcanine bought a new mouse and skipped to a point when Squirtle has a Pidgeot out and two other Pokémon left, and Idea only had one Pokémon left.

"You may be my only hope, but I know that you can win! Go, Gyarados!" shouted Idea. A red light shined, and a Gyarados appeared on the field. A glass tank rose around the battlefield, and up to the roof. Gyarados used surf to fill it up.

"Jyoooo!" Pidgeot flew up above the rooftop. Gyarados finished, and the rest of the roof opened. The stands and trainer boxes rose up, and now Gyarados and Pidgeot were now on a completely different field: they were on the rooftop with a giant glass tank full of water in the center, and they had the whole sky above to battle in. Damp said,

"It's my gym, I change battlefields if I like. Gyarados, use Twister!" A hurricane shot out of the pool, and hit Pidgeot. Pidgeot was sucked under water.

"Jyoo...blubblub, Pidgeot said. Gyarados used bite on Pidgeot's wing, and Squirtle recalled Pidgeot before it could drown.  
"Here Squirtle, use this," Aloof said as she handed him a Pokeball.

"Pokeball go!" Squirtle threw the Pokeball into the air. Out of it popped a snake-like figure.

Stephen: "WHO AM POKEMAN THIS?" A snake-like figure is shown.

Commercial Break  
You know you want it. You know you need it. It is new. It is classic. It is original. Buy now. BUY OUR ERASERS OR DIE!!

End Commercial Break

Stephen: "IT IS BE ARBOK!" Arbok appears in the snake-like figure

Gyarados popped out of the Pokeball.

"Gyarados, use Dragon Rage!" Idea shouted.

"You too, Gyarados!" Both Gyarados began swirling around in circles. A giant hurricane appeared between them.  
"Gyarados, pull him into it!" Squirtle and Idea shouted in unison. Both Gyarados dove underwater to try to pull the other one into the hurricane. The stands were lowered a bit so that the trainers could see inside the water tank. One Gyarados tackled the other, and knocked it into the hurricane. The hurricane pushed that Gyarados up, and the stands rose again. Gyarados balanced on top of the dragon rage in midair helplessly.  
That's Squirtle's Gyarados, explained the Pokedex. The other Gyarados shot a Hydro Pump at Squirtle's Gyarados, knocking it off the edge. Squirtle returned before it could fall 16 stories and die on the second page. They each had one Pokémon left. SUSPENSE! Who would win?

Insert Intermission Here

Squirtle thrust his final Pokeball into the air, and a smiling sphere popped out.

"Electrode!" Electrode said happily. It fell into the water. Electrode did not like water.

"ELECTRODDDDDE!" Electrode exploded, electrocuting the whole pool. The pool exploded. Both Pokémon were returned to the Pokeballs as a tie match, but this was not the problem. The gym was exploding.  
"Pidgeot go!" Squirtle's strong Pidgeot appeared. "Everyone get on Pidgeot!" Squirtle said. Everyone climbed on Pidgeot, who flew them a safe distance away from the gym. They all got off, and watched as the gym explode. Water crashed through the gym in every direction, completely destroying the gym. The water rushed into the sewers, and the smoke cleared.  
"Hey, where are Stephen and Goldeen?" Aloof asked. She eyed the others warily. Squirtle jumped up in remembrance.   
"They're still inside! Delibird, go! Go get Stephen and Goldeen!" Delibird went inside to look for them. Squirtle took his Stephen suit off, confusing Damp. Everyone stared at the gym, and five minutes that seemed like an hour passed. Delibird finally emerged from the pile of rocks, carrying Stephen and Goldeen. Delibird dropped them on the ground. Squirtle pulled out his cell phone and dialed 911. Squirtle gave it to Aloof so that she could explain their emergency. However, when Squirtle felt for a pulse on the two, he felt nothing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 The Land of Happiness**

BEEEP-BEEEP-BEEEP-BEEEP! It was the horrible sound of the hospital. Stephen and Goldeen lay on a bed, while doctors tried to figure out what to do. Squirtle, Aloof, Idea, and the Pokedex waited outside impatiently. The doctor emerged, with an unhappy look on his face.  
"I'm sorry to say this, but... I'm afraid that your friend and his Pokémon have gone onto the land of happiness," he said. Aloof burst into tears.

After the burial ceremony, Squirtle sadly continued Stephen's journey with Aloof, the Pokedex, and his Stephen suit. There was an eerie silence among them as they walked. Idea had given Squirtle the badge immediately, as he had felt sorry for them. Aloof wished that she could hear Stephen's weird all-caps voice once again. Squirtle missed Goldeen's mindless blabbering about video games. Squirtle involuntary laughed when thinking this. The thought of video games when you could be reading The Study of Composition and Sculpture in the Current Museum of the Archives Guild of Environmentalists!

Meanwhile, a Human Being Wannabee was digging up a graveyard. It was trying to bury itself for fun. As he piled dirt on himself he thought,  
'If I bury myself, I may be able to become human!' However, he felt someone else in the grave with him. It was Stephen. Stephen, who was not dead, but only sleeping, climbed out of the grave, and buried himself in another one.  
"IT ARE SURE LESS SQUISHY HERE THEN THAT THERE BEFORE PLACE!"

Squirtle and Aloof walked sadly along their path, heads hanging. On each side of them were grassy plains that stretched to eternity. Suddenly, they fell into a hole.

Prepare for badness!  
And a little sadness!  
To steal your Pokémon then abuse them so!  
With our Cyndaquil here, you should know!  
We steal Pokémon at the speed of Winnie the Pooh!  
You had better watch out, or we will steal yours too!  
Jacqueline!  
Jack!  
Team Rocket steals Pokémon, and hurts them too!  
We don't care if you prosecute or sue!  
Cyndaquil!

They saw Team Rocket leaned their heads over the hole.  
"Now hand over Goldeen. Or else. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" said Jack.  
"Sorry, no can do," said Squirtle sadly. "Pidgeot, pull us out of here." Holding on to Pidgeot, Squirtle and Aloof rose out of the hole. However, a machine grabbed Squirtle and Aloof and started shaking them upside-down. All Squirtle and Aloof's possessions fell into a bag that the machine placed under them.

"Oh well, let's just steal this stuff instead!" said Jacqueline, and she began throwing Pokeballs at everything. They collected the Pokeballs, and got into the machine. The machine put down Squirtle and Aloof, and began to fly away, when it blew up! Squirtle and Aloof ran over to the scene. The machine had blasted off, but the Pokeballs had conveniently fallen out.  
"What happened?" asked Aloof. Dunsparce popped out of its Pokeball.  
"Dun!" It said. Its Foresight had hit! It had been quite a few paragraphs. Squirtle remembered back to when Dunsparce had used Foresight. Sadly, Squirtle's prediction was true. Stephen wasn't alive. They collected everything, and made their way to Cockamamie City. Squirtle was to battle Impull Siv, leader of the Parishioners Gym.

Goldeen woke up from its nap and flopped around. It flopped out of a hole that a Human Being Wannabee had made, and it figured out that,

"HUMAN-BEING WANNABEE DIG HOLE BEFORES I WER AY-WAKE UP! ME FIND MASTER NOWS!" Goldeen picked the shovel up somehow, even though it had no hands, and dug up the whole graveyard. It found Stephen, and they went to find Squirtle, Aloof, and Dunsparce. If they found them, then they found them, which they did. Aloof was exasperated.  
"You must have been so stupid that you couldn't die!"

"WHAT DIE? JUST SLEEP AM!"

"Then you must be too stupid to have a pulse! Or maybe you're just too stupid for the afterlife..."

"WHAT. STOP USE BIG WORDS." Squirtle finally realized just how stupid Stephen really was. He realized that in the beginning he should have found a better trainer like Aloof, but now he was bound to Stephen forever.

They arrived at the Parishioners Gym.  
"I ARE GETTING FIFTH BADGE CAUSE I IS WANTING TO!" Stephen walked into the (fortunately open) door of the gym. The battlefield was normal concrete, and the roof looked like it could open.  
"BATTLE ME DO YOU!"  
"It will be three double-team battles. Best two out of three wins," said the nameless gym leader.  
"WHAT ARE THAT BEING?"  
"It is a battle in which you use two Pokémon to battle at the same time.  
"OK!"  
"Let the battle begin then. Gang and Gengey, go!" He released two Gengars.  
"BULBASAUR, GOLDEEN I AM CHOSE YOU!" Stephen picked up Squirtle and Goldeen, and threw them at the Gengars. They went through the Gengars.  
"Gengars, you know what to do!"  
"BULBASAUR, GOLDEEN, DO WHATEVER!" Goldeen went to sleep, and so did Stephen. Squirtle knocked out Goldeen with himself, and then pretended to faint himself. He picked up Goldeen and walked back to the trainer box. Hiding behind a rock, he put on his Stephen suit. Aloof put Goldeen and Stephen in the Pokémon Center so that they wouldn't die again.  
"I win the first round. Gengars, return, go other Gengars!" Two more Gengars  
appeared on the field.  
"Pidgeot and Raticate, go! Pidgeot, fly, and Raticate get on its back!  
Flamethrower!"  
"Gengars, you know what to do!" Pidgeot flew above Gengar and used  
Flamethrower, and Raticate did likewise. One Gengar flew up to Pidgeot and used  
Hypnosis. Pidgeot used Mirror Wave, and Hypnosis put Gengar to sleep. The other  
Gengar, not noticing his partner was asleep and not Pidgeot and Raticate,  
followed the plan and used Dream Eater. He ate his partner's dreams, knocking  
one Gengar out. Pidgeot flew as high as the roof could go, then came barreling  
down at Gengar. Raticate jumped off, and using Pidgeot's speed, Raticate used  
Hyper Fang on Gengar. Pidgeot's sharp beak then pierced Gengar, knocking it out.  
"The match is tied!" A ref announced. "One battle left!"  
"Pidgeot, Raticate, return! Charizard, Bulbasaur, go! You know what to do!"  
(Aloof had given him Charizard.) Bulbasaur jumped on Charizard's back, and they  
flew into the air.  
"Fearow, Magneton go! You know what to do!" Magneton hovered to the same height  
as Charizard and Bulbasaur, and used Thunder.  
''Yes!" Squirtle said quietly to himself. The roof opened, and the sky filled  
with clouds. Bulbasaur used Sunny Day, and used Solar Beam twice on Magneton  
almost knocking it out. Magneton used Explosion, and Fearow used Mirror wave to  
block the explosion. Charizard blocked Bulbasaur from the explosion, and  
Bulbasaur was not hurt. Fearow flew above Charizard and Bulbasaur, and used Wing  
Attack. Bulbasaur used Solar Beam, and Charizard used a Flamethrower to push the  
Solar Beam faster. The two attacks hit each other in midair, but the Flame-Solar  
Beam-thrower over came the wing attack, and both attacks hit Fearow. The  
Flamethrower did even more damage because of Sunny day. Bulbasaur and Charizard  
used it again, this time for the knockout. Fearow fell to the ground, X's for  
eyes.  
"The winner of the match is Stephen!" said the ref. Abra teleported the real  
Stephen into the gym. Squirtle took his suit off behind a rock.  
"Congratulations, you have won the Specter Badge," said Impull. He gave the  
badge to Stephen. Stephen held it up in the air.  
"YAH! ME EARN FITH BADGE BY SELF ONLY!" Everyone had a sweatdrop.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 - Clefairy**

"SOON I EARN SIXTH BADGE! THEN TWO BADGE! THEN! POKÉMON ADVENTURE!" Stephen and  
his friends sat outside of an ice cream parlor.  
"Uhhh...Stephen? Don't you mean Pokémon League?" Aloof asked.  
"POKÉMON ADVENTURE!" Aloof had a sweatdrop. A Clefairy ran up to them.  
"Clefairy!" It said.  
"OH WOWS THE TOOTH FAIRY! TAKE I TOOTH AND GIVE I MONEY!"  
"Clefairy?" Clefairy looked confused.  
"Here Clefairy!" called Aloof.  
"Clefairy!" Clefairy hopped onto Aloof's lap. "Clefairy!" It said happily as it  
smiled.  
"WHAT RIP-OFF! TOOTH FAIRY NO GIVES I RICHES!" Clefairy started moving its arms  
for a Metronome.  
"Fairy, fairy, fairy, fairy!" It sang like in Pokémon Stadium.  
"UP UP DOWN RIGHT RIGHT LEFT UP DOWN!" Stephen said.  
"What?" Aloof asked.  
"CLEFAIRY MOVE ARM THAT THERE WAY! ME REMEMBER AND WIN!"  
"Huh?" Aloof did not waste her time playing stupid video games. The Clefairy  
finished moving its arms, and all of Stephen and company's backpacks appeared in  
Clefairy's arms. It had used Thief! Clefairy ran off.  
"Abra, go! Use Teleport!" Aloof threw Abra's Pokeball into the air, and Abra  
teleported in front of Clefairy.  
"Clefairy!" Clefairy screamed in surprise. Abra took the stuff from Clefairy,  
and teleported it back to Aloof. Abra got back in its Pokeball. Clefairy started  
using Metronome again.  
"Fairy, fairy, fairy, fairy!" It sang as it moved its arms. A hammer appeared  
out of nowhere and bonked Clefairy on the head 9 times and Clefairy sat down and  
cried.  
"Pokeball, go!" Aloof threw an empty Pokeball at Clefairy, catching it.  
"I caught a Clefairy!" Aloof did a pose with Clefairy's Pokeball.  
"Squirtle!" Squirtle said, and hopped into the picture and did a different  
pose. Stephen was not as happy.  
"NO FAIR! TOOTH FAIRY IS NO GIVE MOOLA TO I!"  
Technically, there is no such thing as-- the Pokedex said. Aloof clamped her  
hand over its speakers.  
"Quiet! He doesn't know that! Don't say anything about it!" She whispered.  
Uhh...Oh yeah! Poor Stephen, the tooth fairy did not come! Yeah! They  
continued on their path to the next city, when a Spearow hopped into their path.  
Spearow. Level one. Something gone wrong from a cloning experiment. Knows  
growl. Not able to grow levels, fly, or learn new moves, said the Pokedex.  
"AWW SPEAROW POOR! IT OK NO ABLE FLY YOU! BET I NO ONE CAPTURE YOU BECAUSE  
MEAN! YOU I CAPTURE!" Stephen threw his second to last Master Ball in existence  
at Spearow. Everybody groaned.  
"RIGHT ALL ME CATCH SPEAR-OW! NICKNAME I YOU BRITNEY!"  
"Britney Spearow, the bird that can't fly," groaned Aloof.

And now for something completely different.  
Mini-Movie: Pokémon in China

Akira Itoshi got up and yawned. He had just turned ten, and he wanted a  
Pokémon. He looked out the window, and he saw Doduo sleeping.  
"Good, that means it's early," he thought. He got himself dressed and he ran to  
Professor Bark's laboratory. It stood four times the height of Ampharos, and  
three times as large as Arcanine. There was a lightning rod on the top of the  
building to absorb electricity into a generator. Akira walked up to the  
building, staring in awe. Even though he passed it every time he walked to  
school, he was amazed every time he saw it. As on Bill's lighthouse, there were  
many different silhouettes of Pokémon on the door. He recognized his favorite  
Pokémon, Arcanine, right away. He pressed the intercom button.  
"Hello, Professor Bark speaking," a voice spoke.  
"Hi, it's me, Akira!" Akira said into the intercom. "I've come to get a  
Pokémon!"  
"Err... Why don't you come in?" The doors opened, revealing a long hallway. Akira  
had never been inside Professor Bark's laboratory before, although he had seen  
it many times on television.  
"Second door on your right!" Professor Bark's voice echoed through the hallway.  
Akira walked in, admiring the décor. He walked in the second door on the right.  
Akira entered the room and gasped. This was the Pokémon storage room that he had  
seen many times on TV. The shelves were normally filled with Pokeballs, but now  
they were all gone!  
"Team Rocket stole your Pokémon!" Akira yelled aloud. Professor Bark sat at a  
computer typing. He stopped typing and turned to Akira.  
"I'm afraid not, they would be too easy to keep out, and even if they did we  
could track them easily. The Pokémon have gone to China."  
"Why?"  
"Because that twit, the 'Pokémon Inspector' has claimed that living conditions  
in my multi-billion dollar synthetic Pokémon habitats are unhealthy for Pokémon,  
and that all Pokémon must be bred and raised in China! The truth is, that China  
has too little Pokémon in their communist system, so they decided to use MY  
Pokémon to improve THEIR economical growth!"  
"Wuh...What?" Akira had been trying hard not to fall asleep.  
"Some people unfairly took my Pokémon to China.  
"Oh."  
"I saved one Pokémon though, a young and stupid Psyduck. At least it doesn't  
have a headache. Anyway, it was easy to save, because the Pokémon Inspector  
didn't want it."  
"I'll take anything!" Akira pleaded; secretly disappointed he couldn't choose  
Squirtle.  
"I will let you have Psyduck, a Pokedex, some Pokeballs and other useful items,  
if you promise me to get my Pokémon back from China! This Pokedex should tell  
you if a Pokémon belonged to me or not. If it used to belong to me, catch it  
with one of these Pokeballs." He gave Akira a few Pokeballs with a 'B' engraved  
on the front. "The Pokémon will remember its true owner, and even if it already  
belongs to somebody, it will go in the Pokeball. When you catch it, send it to  
me, and I'll replenish your supply of 'Barkballs' as I call them. If the Pokedex  
tells you a Pokémon is not mine, you may capture it the normal way if it is  
wild. Understand?"  
"Yeah," answered Akira.  
"Will you do it? If you complete your task I'll give you an Arcanine..."  
Professor Bark knew how much Akira liked Arcanine.  
"Sure!" Answered Akira, and Professor Bark gave him a backpack. He walked  
outside with Professor Bark, and he climbed into Professor Bark's helicopter,  
piloted by the Professor's assistant, Jan Itor.  
"Good luck," Professor Bark said as the helicopter rose into the sky. Professor  
Bark waved them goodbye as the helicopter flew off into the distance. Akira  
looked in the backpack Professor Bark had given him. There were many useful  
items inside, along with money. When they arrived in China, Jan showed Akira to  
the hotel he was staying at then bid him goodbye. Professor Bark was paying for  
it. Akira checked into his five star hotel, and then went to bed.

"RING RING RING! RING RING RING! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! RING RING.."  
"BAMMM!" Akira slammed his annoying alarm clock off. The person before him in  
this room must have set it. What crazy person would want to get up in 1 in the  
morning? He groaned and went back to sleep.

Meanwhile......  
Psyduck popped out of its Pokeball in another room. It cocked its head and  
looked around.  
"Psy?" It walked into Akira's room. It tail whipped Akira's feet trying to wake  
him up.  
"Psy? Duck? Psy?" Psyduck thought he belonged to Professor Bark, so it used  
confusion to open the hotel window. It jumped out in search of Professor Bark.  
"PSY-AYE-AYE!!!!" Psyduck fell more stories then at a library. IT used  
confusion to move Akira's bed onto the ground, and it landed softly on the bed.  
It hopped off, used Confusion to move its fingerprints off of the bed, and  
waddled away.

Akira woke up on his bedroom floor. He stood up, wondering where his bed was.  
He dressed, and got his backpack. He took the elevator down to the receptionist,  
who was watching the news on TV.  
"My bed seems to be missing, do you know where it is?"  
"Does it look like this?" She pointed to the television screen. Officer Jennies  
were scattered around his bed, inspecting it.  
"AHH! That's my bed! How did it get there?" It was obviously a rhetorical  
question, because he ran out the door without waiting for an answer.  
"What happened? That's my bed!" He asked an Officer Jenny.  
"We have no idea, this bed has no fingerprints on it except for Akira  
Itoshi's!"  
"That's me!"  
"We think that this is the work of a Physic Pokémon."  
"A Physic Pokémon?"  
"That's right. Maybe a confusion attack. Don't worry, the insurance company  
will pay for a new bed."  
"Well I better get going. Goodbye Officer Jenny, and thanks!"  
"Bye!" And with that, Akira rode off on his rental bicycle to the Pokémon  
Center to get information about the stolen Pokémon.  
'Nurse Joy can help me,' he thought while riding his bike Professor Bark had  
paid for. 'she would care about stolen Pokémon.' When Akira reached the Pokémon  
Center though, the doors were locked and it was closed. He saw a sign hanging on  
the door that read:  
POKÉMON CENTER CLOSED FOR ECONOMICAL DISTRIBUTION OF POKÉMON

"What the heck does that mean?" Akira wondered out loud. A hooded man appeared  
out of nowhere and said,  
"The sign means that it's too costly to run a Pokémon Center here, and it's not  
worth it because of the lack of trainers in China. The Nurse Joys are  
distributing Pokémon so they can re-open. These Pokémon came from Professor  
Bark, who is said to have gladly donated them, but that's not the truth. The  
evil emperor stole 'em, and they are distributing his millions of Pokémon to the  
poor who will not take care of them, and the Pokémon Center will have to re-open  
to take care of them, thus causing a new tax that the evil emperor can use."  
"How did ya' know that was what I was wondering about?" Akira asked, and he  
turned to see the hooded man. The hooded man was gone, and in its place. Akira  
picked it up and threw it onto the ground.  
"Go...whoever!" he said. Out popped a Magikarp. It flopped on the ground  
helplessly, saying,  
"Karp, karp, magikarp, karp, karp, magikarp,"  
"A Pokémon! That reminds me, I think I'll to some training with Psyduck! Go!"  
He threw Psyduck's empty Pokeball into the air. It landed on the ground, and  
nothing came out.  
"Hey..what happened?" The empty Pokeballs mechanism thought Akira wanted to  
catch the Magikarp, and the Magikarp was sucked in.  
"Hey, I don't want a Magi—"He was interrupted by his Pokedex.  
"Magikarp caught. Congratulations!"

End of Mini-Movie

0o 0o 0o 0o 0o 0o 0o 0o


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 - Twaddle Gym**

We see our heroes approach the Twaddle Gym, after a night sleeping at the  
Pokémon Center. We see Stephen pushing on another door that says pull.  
(Recurring, but expected)  
"DOOR STUPID AM NO OPEN!" Stephen pouted childishly and folded his arms.  
"HUMPH!" He said. Aloof sighed, causing Psyduck to pop out of his Pokeball and  
attempt an unfunny joke.  
"PSY-AYE-AYE!" It said. (Also recurring but expected.) Aloof sighed and opened  
the door.  
"OH! IT ARE HANDICAP DOOR! THAT WHY IS NO OPENED BEFORE!" The gym was a  
beautiful sight. There was a trainer box on each side of the gym, and the gym  
was a giant pool. The roof opened when a battle began. There was a huge island  
in the middle of the pool. Squirtle put Stephen to sleep with Abra, who  
teleported him and Goldeen to the Pokémon center so they wouldn't 'die' again. A  
trainer walked in to the trainer box and said,  
"I am the Twaddle gym leader, Clap Trap. Do you wish to battle me?"  
"Yes, answered Squirtle threw his Stephen suit.  
"I'm no pushover. Full Pokémon battle no time limit. Shall we begin?"  
"We shall." Exciting music played, and the gym roof opened.  
"Go Blastoise!"  
"Go Bulbasaur!" Blastoise appeared in the water, and Bulbasaur appeared on the  
island.  
"Blastoise, Rain Dance!"  
"Counter that with Sunny Day!" The roof opened up, and it rained, and Bulbasaur  
absorbed the water.  
"Bulbaaa..." It purred happily. The rain stopped and the sun shined brightly.  
"Rapid Solar Beam, Bulbasaur!" yelled Squirtle.  
"Odby, use your Blizzard," said Clap Trap.  
"What kind of a name is Odby?"  
"A mere kid like you would not know!"  
"Mere kid! Mergel Smeargle!" Squirtle argued. While they were talking,  
Bulbasaur had knocked out Blastoise, and used recover twice and was fully healed  
from Blizzard.  
"Arghh! I hate myself! Go Typhlosion and use Fire Blast!" Bulbasaur was knocked  
out by Clap Trap's wrath. Squirtle sent out Gyarados.  
"Typhlosion, Sunny Day!"  
"Gyarados, rain dance." Typhlosion stupidly used sunny day, even though it was  
already in place. It began to rain. Typhlosion shot a Fire Spin at Gyarados, but  
fast as lightning it dodged the fire. Gyarados dove under water, and Typhlosion  
kept firing attacks at it until all of its PP had run out. Gyarados rose from the  
water, and swirled around the island fast. Typhlosion tried to see where it was  
going, but it got dizzy and fell down. A dragon rage shot through the middle of  
the island, hitting Typhlosion. Gyarados fired a Hydro Pump at the helpless  
Typhlosion that was caught in the hurricane and Typhlosion fainted.

"Pokeball, go!" Clap thrust a Pokeball, and it stopped in mid-air. A shiny Pidgeot appeared. It shined goldenly, and it was very beautiful.

"Pidge, you know what to do," said Clap. The shining gold bird Pokémon flew up above the roof of the gym, and disappeared behind a cloud. Gyarados looked around, confused. By the way that Pidgeot moved, Squirtle could tell that it would use a Sky Attack soon. He knew this from reading 'The studies of activities of bird Pokémon: an economical crisis of BAS, BAH receive in paycheck'.

"Gyarados, use Hyper Beam when Pidgeot is close to you. It's about to use Sky Attack so watch that cloud up there!" Squirtle pointed to the cloud Pidgeot had flown behind. Gyarados nodded his head than stared up at the cloud. The Pidgeot flew down towards Gyarados, beak shining, but sharp. Gyarados fired the Hyper Beam when Pidgeot was inches away from Gyarados. The amazing Pidgeot used its massive speed in order to try to fly through the massive Hyper Beam, and its strong beak pushed against it. The Hyper Beam pushed harder and harder, but Pidgeot flapped its wings one more time and it went straight through the Hyper Beam! Pidgeot hit Gyarados, and the poor defenseless Gyarados took major damage. Pidgeot flew back into the sky for another aerial attack, but flying through the Hyper Beam caused it to take be worn out.

"Gyarados, just stand there!" Squirtle ordered. The Pidgeot came hurtling out of the sky, faster than a speeding bullet. "Gyarados, Wrap around it quickly!" Pidgeot flew down to Gyarados. Gyarados jumped out of the water, sparkly drops splattering off his body. It stretched its long body out, aiming the middle of it towards the Pidgeot. Gyarados wrapped itself around Pidgeot after Pidgeot had crashed into Gyarados' body. Pidgeot began to peck on Gyarados so it could break free from Gyarados' grip. Gyarados held on hard, until it had one-hp left. Gyarados seemed to be doomed, but Squirtle's plan was working. Squirtle closed his eyes and whispered,

"Gyarados, Explosion." The Gyarados quickly nodded, and it turned completely white. The whiteness spread everywhere, and the huge Explosion... well, exploded. After the smoke cleared, Gyarados lay floating in the water like Pidgeot was. It was a double knock out, causing Aloof to cheer.

"Alakazam, go," Clap said. He kneeled down and rolled a Pokeball into the water. Plook! It made a small noise as it hit the water.

"Pidgeot, I choose you!" It was Squirtle's turn to use the amazing bird Pokémon. Squirtle's Pokeball hovered over the water, and Pidgeot flew out of the Pokeball, which returned to Squirtle's hands. Meanwhile, Aloof was watching Alakazam. The Pokeball had returned to Clap's hands, and the Alakazam was somewhere underwater.

"Pidgeot, Fly up high where Alakazam can't see you!"

Clap laughed. "Bad mistake little kid. Alakazam sees everything. He is Psychic. He is reading my mind as of what attacks to use as I speak." All of the water in the battlefield began to shake. The water gathered all into one place, and the water began to go up through the roof. Alakazam was in an empty pool, manipulating the water. It moved its spoons and the water moved with it, towards Pidgeot.

"Pidgeot, Sky Attack now!" The Pidgeot flew down straight through the water that acted like a barrier. Pidgeot slowed down, but made it through. When it came out, the water had slowed it down so much that Alakazam had time to throw Pidgeot out of the way with his Psychic powers.

"Pidgeot, Light Screen!" Alakazam moved his spoon and the water rushed down towards Pidgeot. The light screen shined as it held back the force of the water.

"Pidgeot, Mirror Move!" all of a sudden, the water moved away from Pidgeot and towards Alakazam.

"Ala?" Alakazam looked at Clap, obviously awaiting orders. The water rushed toward Alakazam, and because Alakazam did not know what to do, it took the hit full blast. Pidgeot wasted no time in performing another Sky Attack, and then a final Wing Attack for the knockout. Squirtle wondered aloud,

"I wonder why Alakazam did not attack?"

"Alakazam must have been used to reading Clap Trap's mind for orders, but Clap was thinking about something else," The Pokedex answered.

"Let's see," Aloof said, and she let Abra out. She asked it what Clap was thinking about.

"Abra, Abra!"

"That Officer Jenny sure is beautiful!" Pokedex translated. Aloof and company fell down on the floor like in the anime. Squirtle stood back up.

"What Pokémon will you use next, oh Clap Trap?" he asked.

"You shall see," answered he. He threw a Pokeball into the air, and out came...

"Who's that Pokémon?" gastly shape

T0o /U c - !- 0 0 r (!) Homework!

Mini-Movie

Akira had a sweatdrop as he complained, "But I don't want a Magikarp!" He knew he had to find Psyduck, but he did not know where. He got on his bicycle and was about to ride off when he saw a finger pointing behind a corner. He heard a voice whisper,

"Come here boy, if you want in!" Akira ran around the corner, but the only thing left was a hood similar to the hooded man's hood. Magikarp popped out of its Pokeball and began flopping around. It flopped onto the hood as if it had recognized it.

"Magikarp, magikarp," it said.

"Hmmm..." wondered Akira. "I wonder." He walked closer to the flopping Magikarp.

"Magikarp, Magikarp," it said.

"What?" He walked even closer to the hood.

"MAGIKARP, MAGIKARP!" Magikarp seemed to be trying to tell Akira something.

"MAGIKARP!!!!" It screamed. Akira returned Magikarp to its Pokeball, and picked up the hood. He walked to where the hood used to be. Magikarp popped out again, and at the same time Magikarp karped another karp, the ground beneath Akira broke. He fell, deep into the blackness of a pit.

"Psy, duck, psy, duck, psy? Psy-AYE-AYE!" Psyduck walked into the hole by accident. Magikarp evolved into Gyarados, and went off to find a trainer, because it wanted to be trained. Later, it fell into the hands of Aloof, but that does come into this mini-movie. You see, this Gyarados was a smart Gyarados, and it knew the hooded figure meant well, except it was too weird for a young person like Akira to be exposed too, Akira I was /I only 12. He had tried to warn Akira, but it was too late. He would have to face the hooded figure's wrath.

Akira landed on a trampoline, and bounced back up with Psyduck.

"Psyduck! There you are! I've been looking all over for you!"

"Psy-AYE-AYE!" Psyduck answered. Akira was so happy; he did not notice an Arcanine that walked in. It carried a hooded cloak in its mouth, and he dropped the cloak on the ground. The cloak morphed into Ditto, and Akira stopped bouncing, but Psyduck continued.

"You're the hooded figure! Ditto?!?" asked Akira.

"Psy-AYE-AYE!!" Psyduck continued bouncing up and down, right in Akira's face. The Arcanine did not look happy. It started firing Flamethrowers at Akira, but Psyduck kept accidentally using Confusion to move them away. Arcanine stopped firing, and closed his eyes. Ditto morphed into a hood again, this time it was big enough for Arcanine, who put it on. Strange music began to play, and for a moment, all was silent besides the music and Psyduck.

"PSY-AYE-AYE!!" Another figure stepped in from a nearby door. It/he/she had a suit on with a hood as if they were Mickey Mouse ears but much smaller. The black suit was pants and a shirt all in one, and it covered everything but the figure's face. The strange music continued to play. A question mark appeared out of nowhere and conked Akira on the head knocking him out. Arcanine yelled out,

"It is my duty to you, master, to return these stolen Pokémon to Professor Bark. I know how you were friends with him, oh master. As long as this kid doesn't get in our way then I'm sure that..." The strange figure cut him off.

"Silence, Arcanine. This kid is just trying to help. I knocked him out so he would not remember me, so he could not tell anyone about me. Just get him out of here, and we'll work separately, he will rescue half, as I will."

TO BE CONTINUED

End Mini-Movie

"It's Koffing!" A Koffing appears in Gastly's shape

"...Nidoran female!" There was a murmur in the crowd. Aloof heard another person in the stands talking to another person I the stands about how strong Clap's Nidoran was. Squirtle knew that Nidoran was strong just by the way it looked.

"Nido!" It yelled, horn shining. "Nidoran! Fe, fe, male, male!" Aloof fell down like people do in the anime again.

"Nidoran, Dig!"

"Pidgeot, Fly!"

"Oh, no," cried Clap. Nidoran dug back up, and looked around.

"Ni?" Pidgeot came hurtling out of the sky, and hit Nidoran full blast. "Ni!!!!!" Nidoran stood back up though, and did not despair.

"Nidoran, use mimic! Stephen, I got that trick from you when I saw you on TV, and now I shall use it against you!" Nidoran began to fly, high in the sky.

"Pidgeot, Hyper Beam!" Pidgeot fired a Hyper Beam at Nidoran, who could not fly very fast from Mimic, and the hyperactive beam knocked it out.

"I have one last Pokémon, but I know I will win. For my last Pokémon is my best. It is Togepi!" He threw out Togepi's Pokeball; unfortunately, it rolled into the water. Togepi did not know how to swim, so it drowned. Squirtle had won the match! The crowd (Aloof and two people) went wild. No one had ever defeated Togepi before! News reporters ran in and took pictures of Squirtle.

"Congratulations, kid. You won the Gibberish Badge. Squirtle was so excited, it was excited. After Aloof and Squirtle retrieved their Pokémon and Stephen from the Poke Center, They continued on their way, with two more badges until the Pokémon League at Indigo. Stephen was very happy about "his" accomplishment, and wondered what this section of this sentence meant.

"I IS ALMOST BEING THERE TO POKÉMON ADVENTURE WHAT?"

"YEAH!" Goldeen answered.

"IT ARE SURE FUN TO TRAVEL AN EARNED BADGE YEAH?"

"YEAH!" Goldeen answered. I can't end the chapter here, can I?

"YEAH!" Goldeen answered.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 - Yeah!**

Poor Goldeen. The only thing it can say is yeah. Whatever will our heroes do?

"BULBASAUR, YOU IS BEING OK, YES NOT?" Stephen asked Bulbasaur the Goldeen.

"YEAH!" Moreover, no one knew about the disease, except Goldeen the Squirtle who didn't know Goldeen had it. Why Goldeen had this disease, no one knows why. Suddenly, a Natu appeared. It began to hop around, for it could not fly.

"OH, WOWS! AN TUTU!"

"Nan de?" asked Natu. "Kore wa BAKA desu neigh!" This meant, "What the... You're stupid!"(He was talking to Stephen)

"Does is you're understand what say him, Balbasaur?"

"YEAH!" answered Goldeen. Squirtle understood him, for Squirtle was fluent in 50 different languages.

"He's speaking Japanese," said Squirtle, although no one could understand him. He took out the ditto translator and put it on. "He's speaking Japanese," he said. Aloof was already kneeling down to the small Natu, for Aloof spoke Japanese also.

"Natu anata no Nihongo?" asked Aloof.

"Hai! So desu neigh!" In other words, "Are you Japanese?"

"Yes!"

"Pokeball go!" Stephen threw his Pokeball at Natu. Natu could not understand English, so it did not know that a Pokeball was being thrown at it. The ball sucked Natu into it, and the middle of it turned white. DING!

"YAYS, I CAPTURE POKÉMON! LET CELEBRATE!" Ditto Pikachu came out of its Pokeball.

"Pikachu!" Pikachu said.

"EVERY BODY AM GOES!!" Dunsparce and Natu came out of their Pokeballs.

"Dunsparce!" Dunsparce said.

"Dame Wakáru," Natu said.

(I do not understand)

"Don't worry Natu, I'm sure you'll be happy with your new owner," Aloof said in Japanese. Meanwhile, Stephen was doing the happy dance with Bulbasaur the Goldeen. He abruptly stopped dancing when he heard a rustling in the bushes.

Prepare for badness!

And a little sadness!

To flood the world with pain and crime!

We are dirty villains, dirtier than slime!

To announce the evil that we have done!

How much crime? More than a ton!

Jack!

Jacqueline!

We bet that you never really knew,

That Team rocket's mascot is a Kangaroo!

I thought it was Cyndaquil!

Be quiet, Cyndaquil doesn't rhyme with 'knew' nill!

Cyndaquil!

"Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Jack said in a high-pitched voice, similar to the witch in the wizard of Oz. "I'll get you and you're little Pokémon too!" Team rocket jumped out of the bushes, and used a freeze blaster gun on everyone, except Natu. Everyone was frozen, and Team Rocket piled everything into a balloon with a Cyndaquil on it.

"We have you now!" Jacqueline laughed. Natu hopped into the balloon, and used Peck on the ice that was Aloof. Aloof thawed, beat up Jack and Jacqueline, threw Cyndaquil over the side of the balloon and fell asleep. Natu did too. The Balloon was getting higher, and higher, with no one to stop it. The balloon popped, and they fell 240 feet down and...

133t:5P34k:I5:50 133t

They were teleported to some kind of garden. Team Rocket ran away in fear of the scary Natu, and Stephen returned all his Pokémon except Goldeen the Squirtle and Bulbasaur the Goldeen. Everyone looked down into the valley that our heroes were standing on the edge of, and saw many Bulbasaurs. It was the evolution ceremony

Squirtle's Bulbasaur ran down into the valley as everyone watched in awe.

"WHAT ARE THIS HERE BEING!?!" Stephen asked Aloof.

"It's a ceremony when Bulbasaur evolve," she answered.

"OH! WHY NO YOU TELL I THIS?" Stephen threw Bulbasaur the Goldeen into the pit.

"LUCKY GOOD IN EVOLVES BULBASAUR!!" A Venasaur stamped out of a tree.

"Saurrrr!" He said.

"Saurrr!" Everyone answered, except Goldeen. They repeated this, until every Bulbasaur had evolved, except Goldeen.

"Saur?"

"Goldeen, Goldeen!"

"Saur, saur!"

"Ivysaur! Ivysaur!" There was an argument between Goldeen and everyone else. Translated version:

"Why aren't you evolving?"

"YEAH!"

"You must evolve!"

"We agree!"

"YEAH!"

"Are you sure you're a Bulbasaur?"

"YEAH!"

"Well evolve then!" Stephen got angry. Stephen was dangerous when angry.

"IF ME BULBASAUR NO EVOLVE IT AM NO HAVE TO!" He ran into the valley.

"YOU BULLY BIG AM VENASAUR! BULBASAUR NO EVOLVES IF IT AM NO WANTING TWO!!"

not a typo

"YEAH!" said Goldeen.

"If Bulbasaur doesn't want to evolve it none has too!"

"Saurrr!" Venasaur roared, and the tree blossomed with flowers.

"Don't you want to have that kind of power, Bulbasaur?" Aloof asked Goldeen.

"YEAH!" Goldeen answered. By now, Venasaur was very confused.

"Venasaur?" he asked. Suddenly, Team Rocket floated over the valley with a giant Cyndaquil balloon. They said their motto, and then used a giant vacuum to vacuum everything up, besides Aloof and Goldeen. They were the only hope.

"Goldeen! Do something!" Aloof said. The heavens opened up.

"YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAHHHHH!" Goldeen said, and it took in sunlight. It fired a Solar Beam at the Cyndaquil balloon, and Team Rocket blasted off again. Goldeen began to evolve! It evolved into Ivysaur! Venasaur and Ivysaur thanked them all and they went on their way, Squirtle having a new Ivysaur, and Stephen having one too. Suddenly, M3W appeared.

"1 4M M3W!" M3W 54). "1 5H4LL U53 D3V0LUT10N B34M!" He did, on Ivysaur, and it devolved back to Goldeen. Mew disappeared.

"N00000!" ST3 -3R I3).

"I knew it," Aloof commented with a sweatdrop.

"At least Goldeen doesn't have yeah disease anymore, right Bulbasaur?" The narrator asked Goldeen.

"YEAH!"

M1N1-M0V13 T1M3!

Lastu Spotu! A one! A two! A three-a here we go!

The music playing inside the trampoline pit that Akira is in is from Game Boy version of Pokémon TCG. This music is played in the game when you see Imakuni? Imakuni? and his Arcanine left the room, and Imakuni? left a present for Akira.

----------------------------------------------------

When Akira woke up, he awoke on his hotel bed. He was in the police station. He looked above him and saw a sign that read,

"Confiscated Evidence." He realized that he was on his bed that had mysteriously fallen. He climbed off his bed and he spied two Pokeballs on the ground. As he opened them, he wondered who the figure was, and what the heck was going on. The first Pokeball revealed Psyduck,, who had somehow gotten a headache. Psyduck held its head in its hands and said,

"Psy-AYE-AYE!" Akira opened the second one. A Growlithe appeared.

"Growlithe!" It said, as it scratched itself. A piece of paper was inside the Pokeball. He read it:

Here is a gift for your Pokémon quest. Use it and other Pokémon to rescue all Pokémon from China. Oh yeah and,

In A.D. 2010 War was beginning

What Happen?

Somebody set us up the bomb

Its you.

Hello Gentlemen, All your base are belong to us

You are on the way to destruction

You have no chance to survive make your time

Take off every 'Zig'

Move 'Zig'

For Great Justice...

The letter ended there.

"Huh?" A question mark appeared over Akira's head.

"Growlithe!" Growlithe jumped over Akira's head, and bit the question mark. Growlithe began chewing it like a bone.

"Ok..." Akira was very confused. He decided to forget it, and continue his quest. He returned his Pokémon, threw the paper away, and walked out of the police station. As he walked out, Officer Jenny saw him.

"How... What... You got in?" Millions of question marks appeared above Officer Jenny's head. As Akira walked out the automatic doors, Growlithe popped out and gathered the question marks into a bag. He returned to his Pokeball, ready for his next adventures.

End Mini-Movie, b FOREVER! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... /b 

Now here is a songfic with no tune!

------------

There is a stupid Psyduck

And a L33t speaking Mew,

How many Pokémon like this, more than a few

A strange Bulbasaur the Goldeen

A Japanese Natu that is quite keen

A Pikachu that is Ditto and

A Squirtle with a big wit oh,

A Britney Spearow, the bird that cannot fly

Misty's Psyduck, with a bad pun on sigh

That is it, we are done

Although there are more like this

Including Teddiursa the Hun!

When Stephen and co. arrived in Puce City, the whole city was empty. They tried to open the Pokémon Center doors, but they would not budge. A tumbleweed blew by.

"Oh, wows! What lively city are here!" exclaimed Stephen.

"Uh.... Yeah, there are so many people here, I could swear that... AHH!!" A ghost interrupted Aloof's sarcastic answer.

"Oh wows! An ALA-TRIO-IZARD! I catches it!" Stephen ran towards the ghost. The ghost slowly floated towards the gym. When they were right next to the gym doors, the ghost turned around. Squirtle and Aloof caught up to the running Stephen.

"Come!" The ghost said, and it floated through the doors. Stephen ran after it, crashing into the doors and fainting. Squirtle got his Stephen suit on, but Stephen woke up. Squirtle got a new suit, courtesy of a Ditto, and put it on Stephen. Now Stephen was Squirtle, and Squirtle was Stephen! Squirtle opened the door, dragging Stephen and Goldeen with him. Aloof cautiously followed. Just as Squirtle had suspected, a Misdreavus floated on the battle arena that lay in front of the doors. On the other side of the gym, in the gym leaders box, there was nothing. The ghost floated to the gym leaders box, and said spookily,

"Follow me!" It teleported to somewhere. Squirtle, Stephen, Goldeen, and Aloof ran into the gym leaders box, and they teleported to the same somewhere. Soon they found themselves in a different gym, in a trainers box.

"You have passed the test," a voice from the other side of the battlefield said. "This city I is b very /b /I lively, and my Misdreavus tested your courage. You followed it into the real gym, and now you will battle me! Of course, had you not been looking for a badge, Misdreavus would have let you enter the real city but.... I could tell that Squirtle here wanted a badge. You do not need a costume Squirtle, I know who you are, for I am Psychic. And I will defeat you blahblahrootabegablahblah" He blabbered on, and Squirtle got angry. He pulled out his friend the Pokedex.

"Pokedex, you know what to do! Pokedex, go!!! Pokedex! Use your tackle attack!" Pokedex tackled the gym leader down. "Now use Mind Erase!" Beams shot out from the Pokedex, and the gym leader, Miss Dreavus, looked dizzy. Squirtle humbly took his Stephen costume off, and also took Stephen's costume off.

"Oh, wows, ghost aM gone now! Look, AN gym leader, bet he have badge for I!" Stephen ran over to the dazed and fainted gym leader, and pulled 151 badges out of his pocket. "Free badge everyone!" Stephen crazily ran out of the gym, throwing badges everywhere. He only kept one, and held it up to the screen. " I earn my second to last badge! My Ghost Badge! Only one more! Than!" He paused for suspense. "POKÉMON ADVENTURE!" Aloof and © caught up to the crazy Stephen.

"POKÉMON ADVENTURE!" Stephen said once again.

"YEAH!" Goldeen answered.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 The name rater**

Stephen and friends were walking to the next city when they all saw a hut on the path.

"OH, WOWS!" Stephen said. He ran up to the door and knocked on it. With his head.

"Hello?" An old voice spoke. An Old Man opened the door. "Ohh,, company," he said in a ragged, tattered, old voice. "My name is An Old Man. I have no first name, or last, or middle, just An Old Man."

"HALLO AN OLD MAN!" Stephen said.

"Please come in, sonny. By the way, what is your name?" A voice came from the house saying,

"What's my name!"

"Oh yes, sonny, please come in with your friends to meet What." They did, and a middle aged man was sitting in a chair. He said,

"Hello, hello. I am the name rater, What. Would you like me to rate the names of your Pokémon?"

"YAH SURE UH-UH!" Stephen said, shaking his head horizontally.

"Which Pokémon name would you like me to rate?"

"THIS ONE!" Stephen thrust Goldeen into What's face, knocking him hardly into the back of the chair he was sitting in, causing the chair to fall backward. The chair broke, and the man tumbled out of his seat, and stood back up to examine Goldeen.

"So... its name is Bulbasaur? That's a stupid name! Why name a Goldeen Bulbasaur, when it's not a Bulbasaur?!? I have to change its name! I'll nickname it Goldeen, just to be safe," said the man, still lying on the floor. Stephen eyes watered.

"BUT AM...BUT AM..." Stephen burst into tears and ran away. Through the wall. A huge Stephen shaped hole in the wall was left.

"Uh... Any more of his Pokémon named weird things?" The name rater asked, sitting down in a different chair.

"Yeah, this poor Squirtle is named Goldeen," Aloof answered. Squirtle got his translator out.

"I would like to be named Squirtle please," he said.

"Okay! This Squirtle is now named Squirtle! Anything else?"

"Hmm... What's Natu nicknamed?" Aloof wondered. She let Natu out of its Pokeball.

"Hmm... this Natu is nicknamed all characters of the Japanese language! This is quite a rare specimen here, this Natu speaks its nickname!" Squirtle, Aloof, and the Pokedex realized why Natu was speaking Japanese, and why Aloof could understand it. Squirtle eyed Aloof suspiciously.

"Well I... don't really speak Japanese, but I could understand it..."

"I nickname this Natu Light bulb," What said. "Try to understand it, Aloof."

"Light bulb, light bulb!"

"Uh... it said, 'Cuff the Cliff Hanger was a designer!'"

"I nickname Natu the English language!" said the name rater.

"You were correct Aloof," Natu said.

"It seems that Aloof can understand Natu, and Natu can speak its nickname! I know what to do, I nickname this Natu What! You'll see why I will do so soon enough," he said. "What?" Natu asked.

"But why..." Aloof was interrupted.

Prepare for badness.

And a little sadness.

To nickname our Cyndaquil an extremely bad word.

To nickname Jack a very stupid nerd.

Hey!

To announce and reveal the truth of the dove.

To confuse you with our weird line above.

Jack!

Jacqueline!

Team Rocket steal Pokémon and hurt them too!

We are not here to steal Pika-Chu!

Team Rocket walked in through the hole that Stephen left.

"Okay name rater, nickname our Cyndaquil (insert explicative here) or else!" Jacqueline said. Aloof, the Pokedex and Squirtle gasped at the bad language. What bit his nails and sweated.

"But, I can't nickname a Pokémon I that /I ," he said.

"You will or else Cyndaquil will kill you!" Jack said.

"Queeeeel!" Cyndaquil Flamethrowered the roof off to show its power. Jacqueline pulled out a gun and shot sticky stuff at them, and they were stuck in place. Suddenly, a figure came running up to save them.

Mini-Movie: Machop's day out.

I got up. I yawned. I walked out the door. I saw a path. A rocky path. A rocky, brittle-like path. I saw a trainer. The trainer was fat. It used a Pokeball. It was a cat. The cat was Meowth. It inspected me. I tried to run away, but it used Payday, with glee. The fat man trainer, threw a Pokeball at me. That was the day I was caught, can't you see? No, I'm blind. As blind as you can find. More blind, than a melon rind. I'm not blind, you are blind, you cant find, your glasses behind, the fridge. 'cause your playing Bridge. With the other fat men. I sit with Meowth. Watching them play. As I sit next to it, I don't know what to say. The men turn around, and look at Meowth and me, and as they laugh, they pee. In there pants. One of them was Lance. He wasn't fat, so he left just like that. I tried to ecscape, later that night, though I couldn't get out, with all my might. The next beautiful day, I had to say, it wasn't so bad, in the middle of May. The trainer let me out, and I ran away. I found another trainer, that is the way. Of the Pokémon. The trainer had no Pokémon, and used a Pokeball. I was caught. I was caught. I hoped, he wouldn't be bad, three months later, he had. Not used me a single bit, when he was fishing, I used my wit. I escaped, with the help of Squirtle. When I got home, I read Yertle the Turtle. I fell asleep, from the long, long day, 'cause it wasn't a day, it was a year. So I don't know why, this Mini-Movie's called, Machop's day out, I should have called, the Psychic hotline, before I went outside, about my fat trainer though, they would have denied. And lied. Like I did, in my bed, on my head. Asleep. Goodnight.

The figure ran into view, a sword in its hand. It was a masked ninja Farfetch'ed!

"Far, fetch'ed! Far! Far!" It said. It waved its leek sword around the tied up people, and the sticky stuff broke. Team Rocket hopped into their Cyndaquil balloon though, Squirtle with them.

"If we can't name our Cyndaquil a bad word, then we'll just take Squirtle!" Jacqueline said.

"Let me go!" Squirtle said. They all floated away out of sight.

"Far! Far!" Farfetch'ed waved his leek in a gesture that waved,

"Follow me!" Farfetch'ed ran off, Aloof and the Pokedex followed. They never saw the name rater again.

Stephen ran all the way to the next city. He ran into the nearest restaurant and ordered a milkshake. He drank the milkshake down, and he left without paying.

Goldeen hopped along the path, trying to catch up with its master. All of a sudden, a mysterious huge white glove picked it up.

"OOH THIS ARE FUN!" golden said as the glove carried Goldeen away.

Team Rocket found a hideout-hut and tied Squirtle up. Jack pressed a button, the ground opened up, and the hut went underground.

The ninja Farfetch'ed gave up its chase and walked home.

The Pokedex used radar to find Team Rocket. They used Pidgeot and flew to Team Rocket's hideout. The Pokedex's radar began beeping when they were over the grassy area. This confused them, so they decided the Pokedex's radar didn't work, and they all flew away.

Cyndaquil turned on a humongous TV screen. Giovanni appeared on the screen.

Pidgeot flew to the next city, and they would ask Officer Jenny about it. Pidgeot landed right next to the Police Station door, and Aloof returned Pidgeot. Aloof looked up at the sign on the Police Station:

Clamsy City Pokémon Police

Aloof opened the door, walked up to a blank desk with a bell on it, rang it, and Officer Jenny appeared.

Mini-Movie Bulbasaur's teeth.

Bulba. My name is Bulbasaur. Do I have teeth? Good question. Do any Bulbasaur have teeth? Maybe. Or do they even have mouths? Of course. And we do have teeth. How many teeth to we have? We don't know. Ask Professor Birch. He knows. My Bulbasaur friends think that they don't have teeth. Maybe that's because they don't. You see, one day we were all on a walk. A Hitmonchan punched their teeth out. One of them ran away into as village. A hidden village. He doesn't have teeth. Have you ever seen a Bulbasaur's teeth? Probably not. I wouldn't show anyone my teeth. Or do I even have teeth. Maybe I'm lying. Maybe I don't have teeth. Maybe no Bulbasaur have teeth. Pinsir have teeth. They have sideways teeth. May sound weird, but it's true. Next time you see a Bulbasaur, look close at its mouth. Does a Bulbasaur have teeth? Saur. Maybe they do, but only a few. Only Bulbasaur that have teeth are able to talk. So they must all have teeth. Bulbasaur.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11 Clamsy City Showdown**

Officer Jenny walked to the desk, Vodka in her hand. She looked very drunk.

"How can I help!" she fell down. "You?" She stood up. Aloof said,

"Team Rocket has stolen a Pokémon!" She explained the rest to Officer Jenny.

"I don't know what we can d-"She fell down again, this time for good. Aloof sighed,

"PSY-DUCK-DUCK!!!" and decided that Squirtle could ecscape on its own. She walked to the gym, and sat on a nearby bench next to the gym doors.

Stephen's Goldeen found Stephen crying in a corner.

"Goldeen, goldeen. Goldeen, goldeen!" Goldeen hopped up and down and attempted to cheer Stephen up.

"GOLDEEN," Stephen sobbed. "I is sorry so being mean person you nickname Goldeen!"

"Goldeen, goldeen!" Goldeen said.

"I is so being glad you me forgive! Love you I doES, Goldeen! Me to be you always is Bulbasaur!" Stephen hugged Goldeen. "Together we get next badge. Then, POKÉMON ADVENTURE!" Stephen stood up an pointed up to the sky, an exciting background behind him.

"Goldeen!" Goldeen hopped to the height of Stephen's finger. Goldeen hopped on Stephen's shoulder, and they walked off.

Squirtle did a bunch of cool stuff, and escaped.

"Isn't that lazy?" he asked the writer.

"...," said the writer. Squirtle pressed a button while Team Rocket was sleeping, and he was teleported to Clamsy City. He landed next to Aloof on the bench. They all walked inside, Squirtle with a Stephen suit on. The gym inside was very ugly and messy. All it was was a bunch of sand and a very high roof.

Stephen walked into the gym through the back door, and stepped into the gym leader box. He saw people on the other side, but it was so far he could not see who they were. He pulled out a loudspeaker and said,

Aloof sat on a bench behind Squirtle to watch Squirtle's last gym battle. Squirtle was too far away to see the gym leader. He heard a loudspeaker say,

"You are battle for badge! You lose, get badge! One on one PokemAn battle!" Squirtle pulled out Ditto binoculars. He saw Stephen. Stephen was a gym leader.

"I should beat him easily," he said to Aloof, than told her whom it was he was battling.

"GOLDEEN AM IS ARE CHOSEN YOU!" Stephen threw Goldeen onto the sand.

"Go, Ivysaur!" A Pokeball revealed Squirtle's Ivysaur, the grass Pokémon. "Sleep Powder!" Squirtle ordered.

"GOLDEEN, IS AM SPLASH USE!" Goldeen did use splash, and dust clouded Ivysaur's eyes. Ivysaur shot the Sleep Powder straight up because it could not see, then fell asleep. Ivysaur was out of the match. Stephen had lost!

"You AM are LOSING! You is got badge!'' Stephen walked up to Squirtle. Stephen saw himself. Stephen fainted. Squirtle picked up a badge, and ventured onto the Pokémon League with Aloof, the Pokedex, and a human suit. This time though, he had no Stephen suit. He had a Loopy suit. Loopy is a human-being wannabee. He has buried himself, so Squirtle used his body. He flew on Pidgeot with Aloof and Pokedex to his original home, and began training his Pokémon. A few months later, the Pokémon League began. He got an invitation in the mail inviting him to come to the Pokémon League. It turned out he was the only one besides Stephen who had gotten all the badges in his own Pokémon League, so there was no contest of getting in. He flew with his friends to the Pokémon League. The ceremony began the next day.

Stephen woke up a few months later. He was in a bed. He looked outside his window, and saw a sign. It said, POKÉMON LEAGUE BEGINS TOMORROW

"OH WOWS!" He said.

"From the Question Mark League, we have Stephen and Loopy! From the Indigo League we have Ash and Gary! From the Exclamation Point league we have Timmy and Ferdinand! From the Amigo League we have Drake and Lance!" Fanfare played as the announcer announced. The crowd cheered, and Stephen was confused. A person walked up to him and said,

"You were in a coma for a few months, and I found you. I found that you had all the badges, so I took you the Pokémon League!"

"OK, that are BE fine! ME battle with Goldeen and Squirt-al!"

"Unfortunately, your Squirtle is gone," the person said.

"OK!" Stephen said.

"Anyway, you must go to this room," The person gave him directions.

Squirtle sat in a room. Pryce, the gym leader walked into the room.

"Hello, and congratulations," he said. "You are the lucky 8 who have been selected for the Pokémon League! First matches we have randomly selected: Ferdinand VS. Stephen! Loopy VS. Drake! Lance VS. Gary! And Ash VS. Timmy! First two battles will be Ferdinand and Stephen; and Loopy and Drake! There are six arenas this League: Ice arena, Water arena, Grass arena, Volcano Arena, Sky arena, and Underground Arena! Randomly, we have selected the Sky Arena and Volcano arena for the first two matches! Drake and Loopy will be on Sky Arena, Stephen and Ferdinand on the Volcano! All matches are full Pokémon battles! Let the Pokémon matches begin!" They all went out of the room, ready for their matches.

MATCH ONE: STEPHEN VS. FERDINAND

"Here comes the red trainer, Stephen! Once a gym leader, he left his gym to collect all the badges! He has Huh, Goldeen, Britney, What, Pikachu, and Squirtle! Unfortunately, Squirtle is lost, so this trainer must try to win with only five Pokémon! And on our left, we have the green trainer, Ferdinand! He as a Tauros, a Miltank, a Tauros, a Miltank, a Tauros, a Miltank, a Tauros, a Miltank, a Tauros...." After five minutes he finished and said, "Let the battle begin!" Two raised trainer boxes were on two sides of a volcano. The volcano had an arena over it, allowing Pokémon to not have to touch the lava.

"Tauros, go!" yelled Ferdinand.

"Huh, choose I you!" Tauros popped out of his Poke ball. Dunsparce did the same.

"Dunsparce! Rest your use!" Dunsparce promptly fell asleep.

"Tauros, use your skull bash!" Tauros pulled his head back. Dunsparce remained asleep. Tauros used Skull Bash, and hit Dunsparce very hard. Dunsparce flew into the air, and landed on Tauros.

"Dunsparce, use Rest!" Dunsparce was already asleep.

"Encore, Tauros!" Dunsparce kept using rest over and over, doing nothing. Tauros soon knocked it out with a few tackles.

"Pikachu, go!" Pikachu the ditto flew out of Stephen's poke ball. "Pikachu you is are now being use Water Gun!"

"Pika?" Pikachu was confused so it used tail whip instead.

"Tauros, use stomp!" Tauros reared up, and jumped on Pikachu's tail. Pikachu had an automatic reaction, and Tauros was electrocuted. Tauros fainted!

"Miltank, go!"

"Use is flamethrower PIKACHU!"

"Miltank, use rolling tackle!" Again, Pikachu was confused so it used agility. Miltank rolled into the lava of the volcano and was knocked out.

"Tauros, go! Use fissure!" Tauros landed, and Pikachu fainted.

"Goldeen, are going!" Stephen picked Goldeen up and threw it at Tauros. The Tauros fainted.

"Miltank, go!"

"Goldeen, splash!" Goldeen hopped up and down, and the ring broke. Of course, the ring was already very weak from the Fissure and Stomp. Miltank fell into the lava.

"Miltank return!"

"Goldeen, no!!!!!" Goldeen sank into the lava. It hopped out though, because it was immune to lava for some strange reason.

"Tauros, go!" Tauros fell into the fire and fainted.

"Tauros, return! Miltank, go!" Miltank fell into the lava and fainted.

"The winner of the match is Stephen!" The crowd said,

"...,"

MATCH TWO: LOOPY (SQUIRTLE) VS. DRAKE

"Here comes the red trainer Drake! This famous person, the leader of the Orange League, is known for having great dragon Pokémon! He has a Dragonite, a Ditto, an Onix, Gengar, Electabuzz, and Venasaur! " Drake stepped into the trainer box. The trainer box was 25 stories high, almost as much as a library, and Pokémon that flew had the advantage because they could occupy more space. For trainers with no flying Pokémon, there was a small platform floating in the middle of the sky. "The green trainer, Loopy is coming in on our left! This infamous Pokémon Trainer has many Pokémon, including Raticate, Pidgeot, Electrode, Abra, Ditto, Ditto, Ditto," after five minutes saying Ditto the reporter said, "and his friend Aloof shares Charizard, Delibird, Gyarados, and Starmie with him! Are you ready trainers? Then let the battle begin!"

"So, your Loopy, aye? Never heard of ya'. I 'spect an easy win this time!" Drake said.

"Squirtle," said Squirtle.

"What?" Squirtle pulled his translator out.

"Just wait and see," said Squirtle.

"Dragonite, go!" Lance threw a Pokeball into the air. Dragonite flew out, and the Pokeball returned to Drake's open hand.

"Delibird, go!"

"Dragonite, use yer Fire Blast!"

"Delibird, Blizzard!" Dragonite flew above Delibird and shot a star of fire at Delibird. A giant cloud surrounded Dragonite, and hail, ice, and snow shot out of it. It covered Dragonite, and Dragonite fell down onto the platform. The Fire Blast hit home, and Delibird fell off the edge.

"Delibird, return!" Before Delibird could die, Stephen returned the bird that could not fly.

"Dragonite, good job matie! It's time for my Po-keh-mon friend, Ditto! Go!"

"Ditto! Go!" Squirtle said.

"Looks like its time for a chicken out match! Whoever dares return their Ditto first loses, remember! Ditto, Transform!" Drake said, and Ditto transformed into Ditto.

"Drake, I'm not so sure about a 'chicken out' match, but Ditto, Transform!"

"Ditto, Transform!"

"Ditto, Transform!"

"Ditto, jump and Transform into the platform!" said Squirtle finally.

"What?" Ditto jumped up, and transformed into the floating platform. Ditto's weight pulled it down, and it smashed Drake's Ditto. It was knocked out.

"Ditto!" Squirtle's Ditto said, and it untransformed to do the happy dance.

"Int' 'resting strategy, young Loopy lad. But here's a Pokémon that's too electric for a Ditto, Electabuzz, go!"

MINI-MOVIE Dugtrio's excellent adventure.

One day, Dugtrio was out digging in the sand happily. He saw a giant Fearow. Young Dugtrio was scared, so it burrowed far underground. Soon, it lost its way, and was very sad. It couldn't remember which way was up, so it decided to go only one way for a while. Unfortunately, it reached the center of the Earth, and the heat burned Dugtrio. Dugtrio was very hot, and it cried for its mother. He saw a man walk by, and the man used a Mater Ball on Dugtrio. The ball was air-conditioned fortunately, so Dugtrio was safe. The man however, was not. A person from a waffle commercial came digging on the other side, and the Pokeball fell down the hole that the boy had dug in the waffle commercial. Dugtrio popped out of its Pokeball and dug its way home. It told its mother what had happened, but no one believed him. A person named Ferdinand walked up to him, and used a Miltank to knock poor Dugtrio out. Dugtrio was fainted, and he soon woke up. He woke up in a bed, and he saw Melanie. She said,

"Dugtrio, you need to go back to the wild!" She carried Dugtrio outside and dropkicked him about 36 acres away. Dugtrio went back home, and dared not tell his mother of his excellent adventure that he had had that wonderful day in May.

END MINI-MOVIE

"Electabuzz, Thunder! Ditto is weak to lightning types ya' know," Drake ordered. The sky grew dark and stormy. Ditto transformed into the platform again. A huge thunderbolt shot down from the cloud, electrocuting the platforms. Both platforms blew to bits.

"Ditto, transform into air!" Ditto transformed into air, so the lightning hurt it very little. Electabuzz fell down the platform less hole.

"Electabuzz, return!" A new platform materialized where the old one used to be. "Go, Venasaur! Sunny day!" Drake ordered, and threw a Pokeball onto the platform revealing a Venasaur. The sun shone hotly.

"Ditto, transform into the platform on my signal!"

"Venasaur, Solar Beam!"

"Now, Ditto!" Ditto transformed into the platform, blocking Venasaur's absorbing, and Ditto landed on Venasaur. Venasaur used Razor Leaf, and Ditto was knocked out.

"Ditto, return! Good job! Charizard, go!" Squirtle ordered.

The scoreboard had the name RED TRAINER on the right side. There was a picture of Drake, and under it a picture of all his Pokémon. Ditto, Electabuzz, and Dragonite's picture were slightly blackened. On the left side, there was a picture of Loopy with GREEN TRAINER above it. Under Loopy's picture, there were Ditto, Delibird, and Charizard. All were blackened except for Charizard's picture

"Charizard, use Fire Blast!" Charizard wasted no time as he flew above Venasaur, and shot the giant Fire Blast at Venasaur. Venasaur was so big, it took up the whole platform. It couldn't move, so it just stood there helpless. Fire Blast hit, and Venasaur was knocked out because of weakness and Sunny Day. Venasaur's picture blackened on Drake's side.

"Onix, go!" Drake said, and threw an Onix onto the platform.

"Charizard, fly under it and use Flamethrower on the platform!" Charizard did, and that was the end of Onix.

"Gengar, go!"

"Charizard, use Flamethrower!"

"Gengar! Use Hypnosis!" Charizard shot the Flamethrower at Gengar, who dodged it, and Charizard fell asleep on the rematerialized platform.

"Dream Eater!"

"Snore!" Charizard snored so loudly that Drake's last part of his order could not be heard. All Gengar heard was

"Dream!" Gengar fell asleep, and began to dream. Charizard continued to use Snore.

"Let's get this over with," Squirtle said, and returned Charizard. He let his Abra out, and commanded Abra to use Psychic on the platform. Abra did, and Gengar fell down, still sleeping. Right before it could hit the ground, it woke up, and began to fly up. Abra floated in mid-air, and used Psychic again. The platform flew down towards Gengar, and hit him. Gengar smashed to the ground. Another platform appeared, and Abra smashed Gengar with it again. Another platform appeared, and Abra repeated. Abra continued doing this, while Gengar was trapped under the rocks. Finally, Gengar fainted. Gengar's picture blackened, and the announcer said,

"Loopy is the win-" He was cut off by the cheering crowd, cheering for Squirtle's victory against the famous Dragon trainer. The platforms were lowered, and Drake walked up to Loopy. He shook his hand, and said,

"Well matie, ya' did good up thar'. I gotta get back to the Orange League if ya' don't mind, so I'll be seeing ya'. Congratulations, and I hope ya' do well. You better beat everyone else for me 'cause ya' beat me." He winked at Loopy, than walked out of the stadium.

Squirtle, Aloof, and the Pokedex rushed to Lance and Gary's battle, and they saw Lance, the victor. They then ran to the next stadium, and saw Ash rejoicing. Timmy was smiling too, but not as big. He walked off.

"Next battles we have Ash VS. Stephen, and Loopy VS. Lance! Ash and Stephen will be in the Underground Arena, Loopy and Lance in the water arena," Pryce said at the next meeting. Squirtle, Aloof, and the Pokedex walked to the Pokémon Center. As Nurse Joy was healing his Pokémon, he congratulated Loopy on his big win.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12 Another battle**

MATCH THREE: ASH VS TIMMY

"Nice to meet you again, Ash," said Timmy.

"My pleasure," said Ash. Ash was 18 years of age, Timmy was 11. They had both grown 8 years from the time they had met.

"On our left, we have the red trainer, Ash!" The crowd went wild when the announcer announced my master's name. "This famous Pokémon Master has Muk, Pikachu, Pidgeotto, Charizard, Squirtle, Totodile, Chikorita, Cyndaquil, Bulbasaur, Primeape, Lapras, Snorlax, Tauros, Jigglypuff who he recently caught and likes to use in team battles with Snorlax, and a Dugtrio! On our right, the green trainer, young Timmy, is an old friend of Ash! He is a Meowth trainer with a Meowth, Persian, Meowth, Persian, Meowth, and Persian! All of his cat Pokémon know different types of every kind of- I mean different kind of types for every attack! Are both trainers ready?" Ash nodded.

"Pikachu," said I.

"Then let the battle begin!"

"Me-ow-ith, I choose you!" Timmy yelled childishly as he threw a Pokeball onto the grassy field.

"Pikachu?" Ash said as he looked at me.

"Pika!" I answered.

"Okay then! I choose you, Pikachu!" I ran out into the field ready for battle.

"Me-ow-ith, Ancient Power!" Rocks from the ground shot up at me, flying toward my face.

"Pika!" I yelled in surprise.

"Pikachu, use Agility!"

"Pika," I answered as I nodded my head. I jumped from top to top of each rock that approached me.

"Pikachu, Thunderbolt!"

"Pika!" I jumped above Meowth, ready for my attack.

"Meowth, use Dig!" Meowth furiously used its sharp claws to dig a hole underground. I used thunderbolt all the same, and it failed. Meowth came up behind me, hitting me by surprise.

"Pikachu, Swift!" I shot tiny little stars at Meowth, who was hit by them.

"Hurry, Zap Cannon!" I concentrated hard on my best attack. I closed my eyes and imagined a cannon floating in the air. I opened them, and saw the cannon! My attack had worked! I sat back, and watched the cannon fire a Lightning bolt at Meowth. Meowth was hit, and was still down from Swift. It was paralyzed, and one more Thunderbolt from me knocked him out. Timmy held up Meowth's Pokeball, and started to return Meowth. Suddenly,

Prepare for Weirdness!

And a bearded Ness!

To steal Pikachu is our only goal!

We don't even want to win the super bowl!

We may be stupid to only want this!

But if we have Pikachu we will be in bliss!

Jessie!

James!

Team rocket fail at the speed of light!

At least we do it without a fight!

WOB-A-FETTTT!

Meowth looked up.

"T-t-team-eowth?"

"Meowth! Where have you been? What are you doing here?" Jigglypuff popped out of Ash's Pokeball, and ran to Timmy's Meowth with open arms. They hugged each other, and Meowth began to explain.

"Ya' meowth!"

"Here Meowth, have a translator," I said in Pika language. I got one from Ash's backpack, and Meowth put it on.

"Ya' see, one day, Team Rocket was planning their next attack. They decided to focus on only catching Pikachu. I didn't say it, but Pikachu here is my good buddy! I was angry with ya' two, so I ran off. I got lost though, and wanted to come back. I couldn't find ya', but I found Jigglypuff. Together, we set off to find ya' two and ta' conquer Jigglypuff's dream. We recently ran into Ash though, who caught Jigglypuff. Jigglypuff's dream has been fulfilled, because Snorlax listened to her song all da' way through! This Meowth trainer, Timmy caught me, and I couldn't find ya' two! I've lost my ability to talk though, but my friend Timmy here treated me well, and made me stronger! I grew good from my years with Jigglypuff so I don't want to be with Team Rocket no more!"

"Meowth, if that's what you wish then fine! But we'll still steal Pikachu!" I thunder shocked them away.

"We're blasting off again!"

"Meowth, return," said Timmy. "Persian, go!"

"Pikachu, return!" I hopped back to Ash's side to watch the battle.

"Charizard, go! Flamethrower!" The flamethrower caused the whole arena to go up in flames. Persian tried to hop out of the way, but it couldn't do it.

"Charizard, use Seismic Toss! Charizard picked Persian up and flew high into the sky. It slammed the Persian to the ground.

"Body Slam!" Charizard flew down onto the Persian that was already on the ground. "Fire Blast!" Charizard blew a tremendous Fire Blast at the Persian.

"Persian, return! Meowth, go!" A Meowth popped out of Timmy's Pokeball.

"This Meowth was Timmy's first Pokémon! It didn't want to evolve though, so Timmy let it stay a Meowth!" The crowd went wild at this announcer's announcement.

"Charizard, Earthquake, then Fire Blast, then Seismic Toss, then Body slam!" A huge Earthquake caused Meowth to fall down unable to attack. Charizard Fire Blasted it as it flew closer to it, then picked it up. It flew up high, and then threw Meowth onto the ground. It flew down towards Meowth and body slammed it for a knockout.

"Meowth, return! Persian, go! Ice Beam!" Persian froze Charizard into an ice block.

"Charizard, return! Primeape, go! Use your Ancient Power 3 times!"

"Persian, Payday!" Huge rocks came up from the ground when Primeape raised his hands. Persian threw many coins at the rocks, which broke most of them. There were too many though, and it was super-effective. Persian fainted.

"Meowth, go!" More Ancient Rocks hit Meowth.

"Persian, go! Hydro Pump! The room filled with water, and Primeape nearly drowned.

"Primeape, return!" Pikachu, Thunder! I hurriedly rushed out and jumped above the water. I Thundered it, knocking out Persian.

"The winner of the match is the red trainer, Ash!" The crowd went wild. Timmy smiled and said,

"That was a great match Ash. I'm just glad I got all 8 badges!" Timmy said. They shook hands.

Mini-Movie: Hamburgers go to Poland

"""""In a message dated 30942873vn093"""someone writes:::;;"""""Poland Whamburgers Iteeth Nrice Bhat Epalm Ntree," goblet horse. "Picture lay beach playground?"

"No, prepossessing yoshi gentry," Gamma Alpha SCopy. TScuba EPoland Itreyua. EPotye, N S los MONEY MONEY? Chu-leop, no? Ertop, lasenburger.

"P0tAGE" Loopy, Poland of yugh mop. Empires urt music question listen two of kind cloth? Juggler no

(&weird-scowoutles pors. Grotu, peog hugh, Hidd3n M3554G3 for 411 y0ur 8453 4r3 8310ng t0 u5?????????

And the, the whole world POLAND exploded? Trojan horse

HAWA'I'IOy, Karess no fort B00m N00 813 Hurt I is! MESSAGE joking yurt XD Hello I is ------DD-nO! 0r else ? """""""""""""

Sincerely,

M3w

(Flesch-Kincaid grade level: 8.1) ('cheap humor')

Later described in future teachings

MATCH FIVE: ASH VS STEPHEN

''On our left we have the green trainer, Ash! On our right, the red trainer Stephen is entering! Please take your places in the trainer box." They did, and the trainer boxes started to move. The box moved into the underground. There was some open space, but not a lot in the arena. The top was covered with unbreakable steel. Digging Pokémon had an advantage because there was so much dirt to use, yet little space for other types.

"Are you both ready? Then let the battle begin!"

"Goldeen, I is are chosen you!"

"Bulbasaur, I choose you!"

"Goldeen, dig!" Unfortunately, Goldeen did not know dig, so it used Fly instead. It flew up, and hit the short roof. POOMF! Goldeen smashed into the steel and fell back down.

"I weaken PokemAn! I now it catch!" Stephen threw a Master ball at Ash's Bulbasaur.

"Hey, that's not fair!" Ash said. Ash caught the Master Ball.

"Bulbasaur, use Sunny Day!" Ash commanded. The sun shone brightly. But not underground.

"Never mind, hurry and use Solar Beam!" Ash said. Bulbasaur tried to take in sunlight, but it couldn't.

"Uh... ok, then use Razor Leaf!" Ash said. A plethora of leaves hit Goldeen, and it was almost knocked out.

"Goldeen, no!" Goldeen suddenly started to glow. It turned completely white.

"OH NOS, Goldeen AM dying and ME CAN sAW even heaven going him!" Stephen exclaimed. The white Goldeen shape changed shape, and it stopped glowing. A strong figure took the place where Goldeen used to be standing.

"Nickname you Seakingdragonairgler I does!" Stephen said. The creature had flippers and the horn of Seaking. It had the fin of Kingdra. It had pincers of Kingler. And it had a circle thing on its head and a tail like a Dragonair's.

"Professor Oak walked into the arena, and took a magnifying glass out to study it.

"Hmm... interesting specimen. Here, have this," he handed Stephen a Pokeball. "You use that. For now I must study this creature. Stephen opened the Pokeball. A M3W popped out.

"H3110," it said. "1 4M TH3 L33T 5P34K1NG M3W 0F D34TH!" In this order, it killed (gruesome, aint it) Ash's Bulbasaur, Squirtle, Chikorita, Lapras, Charizard, and Snorlax.

"The winner of this match are, I mean is (darn, now he has me speaking weird!) Stephen!"

Mini Movie Ash and his master ball

Ash walked on a new Pokémon journey. He had used the Master Ball he had gotten from Stephen to catch Magikarp level one that can't learn new moves or grow levels or experience points. On purpose I mean. This is because Ash had duplicated the Master Ball. How? He threw the Master Ball at M,4t38594857075 or whatever, and then pressed up, select b on the beginning screen of Pokémon. It said, erase all saved data? He said YES, and the Master Ball duplicated. This will work in your game boy too. Yeah. Really. But we are not liable for any damage done to your game. Even though only coughBADcough good will come out of it. Yeah. It worked for the twerp I mean Ash. Oh yeah, and we are Team Rocket. I mean we aren't. So don't get any ideas of us wanting to mess up your game. Yeah.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13 – The Final Matches**

MATCH SIX: SQUIRTLE VS. LANCE

Squirtle walked towards the trainer box, ready for his next battle. He was afraid, not of Lance who he knew he could beat, but of Stephen's 3vil l33t 5p34k1ng m3w 0f d34th. He hoped Professor Oak would soon bring Stephen's Seakingdragonairgler back. He stepped up into the trainer box wondering what to do if he had to face the 3vil l33t 5p34king M3w 0f d34th that knew D3 / 0 70834. Suddenly, Squirtle had an idea, but his thinking was interrupted by fanfare music playing and the announcer announcing,

"Welcome to the second to the last match of this years Pokémon League! Sponsors are Wobbufett's delivery, and POK, Indigo's major network, showing the Pokémon League since 1985. On our left, we have the green trainer Loopy! On our right we have the red trainer Drake! Random dice have been rolled, and Lance is sending his Pokémon out first! Our you trainers ready?" They nodded. "Then let the battle begin!"

"So Loopy, you finally made it to the second to final round. Unfortunately, all your hard work and training have come to end at my first Pokémon. Gyarados, go!" Lance let Gyarados into the water arena. The blue water sparkled in the bright afternoon sun. A small island lay in the middle of the water, with two coconut trees in the shape of a P.

"Electrode, go!" Squirtle threw Electrode's Pokeball into the water. Electrode popped out, and started rolling and floating in the water.

"Electrode, Electrode!" it said with a huge smile. It was having the time of its life floating in the water. It rolled into the Gyarados's mouth, and down its throat.

"Gyarados, use Hyper Beam before it can explode!"

"Electrode, Body Slam!" Gyarados shot Electrode out of its body with a Hyper Beam, and Electrode flew into the air. It flew into the sky, and disappeared. A moment of silent passed, and a raging fireball Body Slammed Gyarados. All of a sudden,

Prepare for Badness!

And a little sadness!

To protect the world from humiliation!

To unite all people within our creation!

To announce the people of truth and love!

To extend our reach to Mars above!

Jack!

Jacqueline!

Team Rocket hurt Pokémon and steals them also!

Our rhymes are not rhymes, they are falso!

Cyndaquil!

A balloon in the shape of a Cyndaquil hovered above. It descended into the arena. Unfortunately, they landed on Electrode.

"ELECTRODE, ELECTRODE, ELECTRODE!!!!!'' Electrode exploded, causing Team Rocket to blast off with Lance's Gyarados.

"Gyarados is unable to battle! So is Electrode! Tie!" announced the announcer.

"My Gyarados, where has it gone?!?" Lance said as he cried waterfalls into the water arena.

"Electrode, return!" Electrode was sucked into Squirtle's Pokeball. The water arena began to overflow with Lance's tears, and two things happened, salt mixed into the water (this does not matter, although I'm sure in some good trainer Fic much better than this it would have cleverly played an important part in this battle) and the island sank into the water.

"Oh, well, sniff, sniff Dragonite, go!" Lance said.

"Delibird, go! Fly and Blizzard!" Delibird flew into the air even though it couldn't before, and used Blizzard. Dragonite fainted.

"Dragonair, go!"

"Blizzard." Dragonair fainted.

"Dragonair, go!"

"Blizzard." Dragonair fainted.

"Dragonair, go!"

"Blizzard." Dragonair fainted. (This, to some extent, may be called to writers, 'cheap humor'. This, in its sheer repetitiveness may be assumed by some people as humor, but to others, it displays no humor at all. Thus, the term 'cheap humor' is born in this Fan fiction of Pokémon.)

"Aerodactyl, go!"

"Delibird, return!" Unfortunately, Delibird didn't return, it used the attack Return. It did no damage.

"Aerodactyl, use your Fly then Hyper Beam!"

"Gyarados, go! Delibird come back! Use Hydro Pump!" Squirtle said. Giant Waterfalls shot out of the water, one hitting Aerodactyl. It spun down to the ground, fainted.

"Yee-ay, I win," said Squirtle.

"The winner of the match is: Loopy!" The crowd went wild. Lance disappeared suddenly like Giovanni and Red could in game boy games. Lance left his Pokeballs behind, and Team Rocket came and took them. No one cared, but the boss gave Team Rocket millions of dollars for them, and they quit Team Rocket and got high paying jobs and lived happily ever after.

Abra teleported into Stephen's room. It took M3w's P0k3b4ll, 4nd t3l3p0rt3d to Pr0f33s0r O4k's L4b0r4t0ry. Abra made 3use D3v0luti0n B34m on Seakingdragonairgler, and Seakingdragonairgler turned into its original form. It replaced M3w's Pokeball with Stephen's and Teleported Seakingdragonairgler's Pokeball back to Stephen's room.

MATCH SEVEN: Loopy (Squirtle) Vs. Stephen

"Here we are in the final match of this years Pokémon League! All rights reserved, no batteries included, Pokémon League cannot be copied or imitated on offense of guiltiness. Both trainers from the same hometown and league, these two trainers have made it all the way to the final round! And remember, no matter what, you're all winners! Let the battle begin!'' The announcer announced.

"HUH? GO!" Stephen said. Dunsparce appeared on the normal arena the battle was being held on.

"Pidgeot, go," said Squirtle.

"HUH? AY-TACK NOW YOU USE?"

"Pidgeot, use Mirror Move!" Squirtle said to the bird Pokémon. Dunsparce used Encore, and Pidgeot used Encore. They kept clapping, and clapping, and clapping, because the other one used Encore. This went on for 5 hours, until Dunsparce ran out of Encores and Stephen ran out of PP restores. Huh? Began to use Splash. Pidgeot was still using Encore. Dunsparce used up his Splash's and began to use Foresight. Pidgeot was still using Encore. Dunsparce used Foresight up, and began to use Struggle. Pidgeot was still using Encore. The Struggle soon knocked both Pokémon out. (This is another example of 'cheap humor'. Both Pokémon use useless attacks, and they are both knocked out by basically being stupid. I hope you're writing this down kids, there will be a quiz on it tomorrow.)

"GO ARE NOW YOU GOLDEEN!" Stephen said. A Pokémon popped out of Goldeen's Pokeball. It was a... Bulbasaur?

Was Stephen so smart to call Goldeen Bulbasaur? Is that why it evolved to Ivysaur? Is 3really 1337? Is Stephen actually smart? Is Goldeen actually not stupid? Does Goldeen still have yeah disease? Will the mysteries of Stephen and Goldeen ever be answered? Will I stop asking questions? Find out never!

"GOLDEEN YOU ARE USE AY-TACK!" Stephen said. Bulbasaur used Sunny Day.

"Raticate, go!" Squirtle sent out his Raticate. Bulbasaur used Sleep Powder, and Raticate fell asleep.

"SOLAR BEEP!" The strong Bulbasaur was not stupid. It used Solar Beam three times on the sleeping Raticate, causing it to faint.

"Delibird, go, use Blizzard!" Bulbasaur used Sleep Powder, then a plethora of Razor Leafs. It used two more Solar Beams, and Delibird fainted, still sleeping, unable to use Blizzard.

"Charizard, go! Use Fire Bl..." Charizard was sleeping, courtesy of Bellsprout. Bulbasaur used seven Solar Beams to faint it.

"Hamburger, go to Poland!" said Stephen. Bulbasaur was confused; it knocked himself out in confusion. (This is the last example of 'cheap humor'. Notice how the statement by Stephen copies 3's message, thus creating a pointless and senseless sentence. To some an unsharpened pencil is funny. To others, they are not sharp, so they don't get the point.)

"Abra, go!" said Squirtle.

"Pikachu IS AM go! Use punch ay-tack!" Pikachu did nothing.

"Abra telekinesis!" Squirtle said. Abra read Squirtle's mind as of what to do, and then sent a message to Pikachu to faint himself, and he did, for he was Squirtle's Pokémon still and only listened to Squirtle.

"SPEAROW, BRITNEY! CHOOSE I YOU!" Stephen said. Spearow jumped out of its Pokeball. Its happiness quota was high, for Stephen had given it lots of yummy food.

"Abra, use your combo attacks!" Abra used Hypnosis on Britney, causing it to fall asleep. It teleported high above Spearow, and fell down for a Body Slam. It repeated this once more, and Spearow fainted.

"MAGIK POKÉMON, GO!" A level one Magikarp that knew Splash appeared.

"SPLASH OF DEATH!" Magikarp fainted Abra with the super effective move.

"Lugia, go!" Squirtle's newest Pokémon appeared. It fainted though, because you can't put legendary Pokémon in FanFics.

"The winner of the match is Stephen!" The announcer said.

"YAYYYYYY!!!!" Stephen yelled. The crowd went wild. "ME AM BEING CHAMPION...," Stephen sang. Stephen did the happy dance, but stopped dancing because Stephen's father appeared.

"DARE I YOU CREDIT CARD ME USE WHY STEPHEN?"

"BECAUSE GOLDEEN GET I BACK!"

"BIG TROUBLE YOU ARE IN! GO YOUR ROOM TO!"

"BUT..."

"NOW GO!" Stephen disappeared like Lance, and so did his father.

"Uh.... The winner of this Pokémon League is Loopy, because are original winner is unable to be here!" said the announcer. The crowd said

"...,"

Stephen was never heard of again. Or was he?

"STEPHEN DISCUSSES PUNISHMENT WE NOW DO!" Stephen wiggled nervously in his seat.

"PUNISHMENT YOU IS ARE BEING IS DEATH!" Stephen's father killed him. His crime? Not paying more on the credit card for Goldeen. Stephen's father had read this FanFic and seen what good a Pokémon Goldeen was, and thought the poor people who had been paid so little for it would be poor now. Stephen reincarnated as a Human-Being Wannabee and continued in his new FanFic. Squirtle continued his career as a Professor because he didn't feel like continuing his career as Pokémon Master. Squirtle gave his Pokémon to Aloof, and Aloof became a gym leader in Stephen's place.

When he arrived home, Squirtle sat by his lake and read War and Peace for the seven-hundred forty two thousand seven hundred and forty second time. A Goldeen hopped out of the lake.

"HALLO, MY NAME ARE BEING GOLDEEN! LETS GO ON POKÉMON ADVENTURE!"

"But this fic has ended," answered Squirtle. Fifteen more Goldeens hopped out the water.

"FUN WE ARE LIKELY TO HAVE!

"But you see..."

"POKÉMON ADVENTURE!"

"No!!!!!" Squirtle blasted into the air. He fell into a lake. He saw someone fishing.

"Uh, oh," Squirtle said. (The last paragraphs of this story showed the first example of 'cheap humor', repetitiveness. The same thing that happened in the beginning happens in the end, thus creating the ability to make the story twice as long if needed. Hey- what are you do- PUT DOWN THAT—

**THE END**


End file.
